I Want You to Know

I want you to know

I have no regrets

No regrets for ever loving you

I gave you my heart

And you held my soul

You were my true, true one

And a piece of me

Will never let you go

But I've finally realized

That while you will always be a part of me

Of my life...

It's time to never look back

At least not for me

I'll support you, hell, I'll raise a glass

For anything that will make you smile

You aren't mine though

You were never going to let that happen

And I'm happier without having you in my veins anymore

We're part of a messed up extended family

Hearts to hearts

And yet, I'm good

And damn I feel good not dwelling on my love for you

The pain and the sadness

The hurt and disappointment

I've shed it like skin

And risen

Whatever happens, come what may

I'm excited, because I can't see it

And I wouldn't be here

Wouldn't be who I am today

If I had never loved you

The way we loved.

Go Silent Like Stark Stars

She's going to be silent at some point.

You realize that, right?

You tell her you love her.

Tell her you need her.

Tell her that if there were a chance,

She'd be the weighing factor for your happiness;

That you both could be happy.

Together.

But you tell her that,

Give sweet words.

Memories.

Grab her around the waist when you meet--

Pulling her in, with a slow, gentle grace.

Everything is love.

In your touches.

Your movements.

Each other's sighs.

And then a switch it flipped,

Like on and off,

And she's forced back into your shadows.

She loves you, you know she always will.

She's said it,

But what more,

She's proved it.

You can't keep a woman like that hidden though.

You can't choose other lives without her being pivotal--

Not without her straightening her spine,

Smiling. Loving from inside.

Telling herself that she's fine being friends,

Even though it's the most complicated aspect of her own life,

And always will be.

She's going to find someone else, somehow, some place--

To be the second dawning, to give her a slice of happiness

That she is most deserving.

She will talk, but you may have to pull it out of her.

Where once she wished she could tell you everything,

Share every moment, she will bite her tongue.

You pushed this. You didn't understand that playing games was bad.

She was more worth to you than you could ever find,

And she deserved more than you,

But her heart was only yours.

Now. Now it's time for someone to steal a piece of that big heart.

She doesn't know where.

Doesn't know when.

Doesn't know who.

But she's willing to try.

She's hoping on stars in the sky.

Perhaps

No worries, philosophy free of drama.

We aim, we strive, we hope and crave,

We revolve and rotate. Aching.

We need to spend time together,

It’s a given no one else truly sees.

We want and you promise—

Promises being the only thing that guarantees I’ll wait.

A lion, strong and tall you stand

Dark mane to your shoulders,

Eyes. Eyes that upon the occasion have looked at me

And seen through. With you, I am not bulletproof.

I’m not the cocky madam who’s witty and sly,

Knocking men down like surprised flies

Who allow me a comfort palace,

They smile and want to please—

No, with you, I am most quiet.

I am demure yet open.

With others, almost nothing but one act

Can shut my mind silent.

Everything else is loud and in my head, broken.

They see the fun, they see the wild,

They entertain the girl with her hair let down.

You nourish the heart.

You twine like two knotted pinkies around my soul.

I always come back,

Invisible ties calling me home.

For you I would run

For you I would give up

I’d change the drama,

Embrace with open arms, opportunity—

The kind both of us have always dreamed.

Two peas whose love story

Has been hard, always.

Whose feelings, hidden,

Come easy.

Lost souls where one is often giving birth to faith

In the other. Now we are both teetering,

Perhaps it’s time? Take hands—

Hold tight, grab on to happiness with fight,

We’ll take flight.

We need to be in this together,

Not fall back on being lone rangers.

No worries, problems will be taken on,

Saddle the burdens as one,

White light surround us.

What do you say? Carry on, make this present turn to future—

And be ours?

The Other Fish Within The Sea

Please don’t call me sweetheart,

I might vomit from the fear.

Please don’t fall so easily,

I may break your heart before you have the chance.

Please don’t call me yours,

My heart is someone else’s.

Please don’t speak of settling,

It’s hard for me to see a future without him.

I cannot stay, so I move on.

Part of me still listens though,

For when my love comes to my door.

I can give you friendship,

I can bring you ease…

You are stress relief,

The other fish within the sea.

I want to step away

Give you the simple yes you seek,

But I cannot, because while I can mix and mingle

My heart still waits to hear its heartsong sing.

I hate to admit, but I’ve that hope inside,

That kind whose seed buries deep.

Yes, I like you

That goes without saying.

Do I foresee a future?

Don’t hate me for not believing.

I have one in mind

That I thought was broken long ago

But once again,

Lightning struck and the dreams came creeping back.

I want to say yes,

Trust me, I do.

However, I don’t know what kind of answer to give

When I could have all I ever wanted

With the one that compliments, completes

If I just hang on a little longer.

Could you wait? That’s cruel of me to ask.

You’re kind and sweet

But I don’t know, if even though you think me cute

If you could ever handle the real me

That is beneath.

Want to be Selfish

Each step I take,

Is another towards my saving grace.

You say you want to hold my hand,

My heart wants our second chance.

So do I stay and breathe in the love,

Or do I keep moving on?

Chorus:

You say that you do love me.

Always going to have a place in your heart.

You speak the words before I can,

But how do I break the old habit

When my heart wants to be selfish?

Damn…I want to be selfish.

I don’t know this bend in my path.

I know our love to be true,

But it’s so hard to break down the walls

I built because of you.

So do I let them fall to give it another try,

Or do I keep moving on?

Chorus

The futures full of questions

And yet when I’m with you again

Everything slips away and I stop caring.

My heart starts beating better because it’s on

And my mind starts shutting off.

So do I keep moving on?

Chorus

Can I be selfish this once?