Never Mine

All of these years,

I had the distinct feeling

That each lover of yours

            That filled temporary homes in your heart,

Never knew.

They never knew about me,

Our history--past,

Stolen kisses when we were no one elses'.

They didn't know about our friendship,

The close ties, the way we knew one another,

As we got older.

They knew none of that.

I am sure as well, that aside from those shared or met,

None of your other friends really knew either.

What were you scared of?

Was it a lie that you didn't care about what others thought?

The only conclusion I can claim is that perhaps

Our connection, the love, the camaraderie--

It would ruin your street cred.

Foolish man, we're no longer teenagers.

I was your secret.

You were never mine.

The Other Fish Within The Sea

Please don’t call me sweetheart,

I might vomit from the fear.

Please don’t fall so easily,

I may break your heart before you have the chance.

Please don’t call me yours,

My heart is someone else’s.

Please don’t speak of settling,

It’s hard for me to see a future without him.

I cannot stay, so I move on.

Part of me still listens though,

For when my love comes to my door.

I can give you friendship,

I can bring you ease…

You are stress relief,

The other fish within the sea.

I want to step away

Give you the simple yes you seek,

But I cannot, because while I can mix and mingle

My heart still waits to hear its heartsong sing.

I hate to admit, but I’ve that hope inside,

That kind whose seed buries deep.

Yes, I like you

That goes without saying.

Do I foresee a future?

Don’t hate me for not believing.

I have one in mind

That I thought was broken long ago

But once again,

Lightning struck and the dreams came creeping back.

I want to say yes,

Trust me, I do.

However, I don’t know what kind of answer to give

When I could have all I ever wanted

With the one that compliments, completes

If I just hang on a little longer.

Could you wait? That’s cruel of me to ask.

You’re kind and sweet

But I don’t know, if even though you think me cute

If you could ever handle the real me

That is beneath.

Heartsong

I’m standing in night and day.

I’m in the shadows,

Part of the in-between.

Can you see me?

Chorus:

I’m still holdin’ out for you.

My heart is yours

If you say the word.

I sit back and wonder—

Can a heartsong die too?

You walked away,

As if we were nothing.

Let me slip from your hand,

Was this the real you?

Chorus

I’ve cried a thousand times

Wished I could take back each kiss

I wasted on you.

My inside dies as we separate.

Chorus

You were my heartsong,

The one that I loved.

I try to move on,

But it’s hard when you pull on my chest.