The Saturday Six (Four)

***This was written Saturday morning of June 1st, took a while to post because I was without internet from Wednesday evening until now***

A shout out to my best friend, Christine, today; she finally gets to walk and get her diploma for when she graduated in December.  So proud of her, she worked long and hard.  I would be there watching her, as she watched me, but I unfortunately don’t have the transportation or anyone who would want to waste time while I’m spending time with her.  Anyways, I’m so proud of her.  Way to go Yoda, Power Puff Girls AWAY! *Swoosh*

1. Sunday was Camerin’s birthday party over at my sister’s house at the lake.  There were a good number of kids there, and it was low key for the most part.  I like low key.  I also like wine, and my sister made sangria for those of us adults that could drink.  Oh my, how I felt sorry for our friend Jackie who is pregnant, she wanted the drink so bad, but she wouldn’t even dare to sniff it.  We had to fight to keep the drinks out of the kids’ reach, because they thought it was cool that we were eating fruit out of our cups.  Well, needless to say, we had to tell them to eat fruit salad because it was grown up fruit in our cups.
   
   There was a good turn out, and quite a few people I haven’t seen in what felt like ages.  Being off at college away from these good people makes it a little hard.  I did get to talk with one of my favorite pairs of twins that I grew up around, who my dad and ma call their adopted kids.  Ashley even nabbed a picture of her, the twins, me, and my mom.  She said it was too bad my dad had gone home to nap, otherwise he could have been in the picture, and it could have been a family picture of sorts.
   
   It’s good to see all the little kids again, some of whom I’ve known before they could walk.  Two of the girls, who are always my shadows when we get together, I babysat once when I was in high school, and the oldest is now going into the fourth grade.  Seriously, between the kids in my life that aren’t family and then my nieces and nephews, I keep saying “STAY LITTLE!” Of course, no one listens, because you can’t freeze time.  Even when they scream or don’t listen, or just off in their own worlds however, the kids are still cute.
   
   By nine that night though, I was tired and just wanted to sit back with my feet up.  Great company is wonderful, but at the end of the night, I like my quiet and I like less people around me.  Bid everyone that was left adieu, and then mama and I went home where we watched an episode of “Hawaii Five-0” with my dad and ate big bowls of air-popped popcorn and I could finally take my wrist support and the arm band I had on my elbow off.  Kids are beautiful, and I love them, but I still am going to be saying that I’m good being just an aunt for now.  I’m good at it, and very loving and will do anything—but I’m good on the other aspects for now.  Seriously, may want it, may dream of it, but for now, I don’t need to be a mother.  The title of aunt works just fine for now at twenty-one.
   
   So bottom line: Camerin seemed to enjoy his party but was more into just playing outside on his own that with others but liked his toys.  We had to have our one friend’s son, Gavin, blow out the candles on the cake because Camerin didn’t want to.  Ashley wanted to introduce me to someone, but they couldn’t make it, which is okay.  I don’t know you, so I can’t be upset.  The sangria was delicious.  The day was somewhat cool, and the small campfire felt good.  The company was loving and full of friendship.  Not a drop of rain or snow was to be found.  And I got to end the night with popcorn my favorite way, on a comfy couch, and the eye candy of the sexy Alex O’Laughlin on our TV screen.  And was slightly early to bed and asleep by eleven-ish.
   
   
2. For the most part of my week, I’ve been cleaning.  Unpacking and sorting, and packing away things, trying to get my bedroom here at my parents’ house where I can actually access stuff, move around, and somewhat use it.  It’s been a long and slow process.  So far, I’ve got two boxes of things I’m getting rid of, two boxes of knick-knacks that went into storage (still have plenty on my shelves), and two totes that went into storage: one that is pretty much my filing system and things like that, while the other is scrapbooking and mementos.  I am years behind on my scrapbooking, and on having any hard copies of pictures, let alone put into albums.  My albums alone and the hard copies I have of photos are still in one footlocker stuffed in my closet that I have yet to rifle through.
   
   All of my loose papers for current writing projects are put together at least now, and things are sorted… I just have to put more things away, and dust, and choose what apartment stuff I have can go out into storage and what will have to stay in my room.  I also have one tote of old clothes to go through, and decide what I’m keeping of that and what I’m giving away.  I always do that.  I don’t keep tons of clothes that I can’t fit into at the moment or that I may want to wear again one day.  If I still like the clothing but it’s a little small, I put it into one tote.  If it doesn’t fit into the tote, it doesn’t stay.  And I go through it every year; quite an effective system, and doesn’t harm the self-esteem quite as much.
   
   My sister will be here from Tennessee by Monday night, so I really have to haul ass on all this cleaning and whatnot, because otherwise, I’ll be in trouble.  Haha.  I also need to unpack all my tea and nonperishable foods and put them away.  And wash linens so that my totes of that stuff can go into storage.  I’m proud and happy with how much I’ve accomplished though, the aches and pains, sneezes and heat aside.  And have enjoyed my little arrangement of music I’ve had blasting and singing along to as I worked, ya know, just some rock, some Paramore, some SheDAISY, some Play, and my Mama Mia soundtrack.  If I had some of my hardcore stuff on CDs, I’d probably have listened to some of that, too.
   
   I also want to get what I can done, because if I can do it, during the days that I have free before I head out on my trip, I would like to spend a little time with my friend Brandi, and some more time with Jack.  Yes, we’ve been talking, a lot, and I’m enjoying it, and would like some more of his company.  And, it’s been a very long time since I’ve hung out with Brandi one-on-one.  Just have to see what days Marci won’t be at the house, because when people visit, I don’t like to be rude and scamper off to be with others, especially when it’s people I love and rarely see.  I’m going to soak up as much time with my oldest sister and oldest niece as I can.  Let’s hope I can swing all this time with folks and get the house into better shape!  Anyone got an extra arm to help me out when mine goes shaky so I can keep chugging along?  Haha.
   
   
3. On Tuesday, I hung out with my friend Jack, who I met back in high school. Yeah, we didn’t talk much back then, but we’ve started getting to know each other recently.  I always thought him nice, but now, I can see how comfortable I am around him.  He’s got this awesome vibe, that’s rare for me to find in the male species.  Haha.  It was like I could be very comfortable and content.  Most days, around a lot of guys, even if they’re friends, after a while, I just want to go home or send them off.  It sounds bad, but either the conversation goes stale, silence occurs, or it goes into an area where I just don’t want to be at that moment.  With Jack, I had fun, we couldn’t stop talking, but it wasn’t to fill up silence, it was just plain, “You too?” and “Explain?” And laughter, and just, it was really good.
   
   He picked me up, because I still have no license, and yes, most of my male friends are tall, and I often forget that at times.  Had to get on my tiptoes slightly to give him a hug when he got out of the car, and had to hope that my dad’s dog, Bear, didn’t come closer and topple me over.  We got to his house, where we ate pizza, and I got to meet his parents and his younger brothers and sister.  Oh my goodness, his sister is adorable! And she is about the same age as my oldest niece.  Showed me around the downstairs, and then him, his parents, and I hung out in the kitchen.  We talked a lot, and they taught me how to play bananagrams (I think that’s what it’s called).  It was interesting, and even though I didn’t win, I enjoyed it.  It made your mind work, which I think are some of the best kind of games (give me a Trivia game, and teach me the things I don’t know already, and you’re golden).  This game was more of a Scrabble feel, but without numbers, and where each person made their own crossword; I liked it.
   
   I like his family, they were all really kind to me, and I liked that I could be myself, even if it was kind of like a PG setting.  Which, for me, it’s become hard to be myself and comfortable in a PG setting most days and comfortable PG settings are hard to come by without the stress.  It was awesome, laid-back, and just plain good.  After we finished the word game, Jack, his mom, and I played this game called Pandemic, which I had never heard of, and I sat there with my “what the fuck are you talking about” look plastered on my face, with natural curiosity.  I said I was down, but yes, I did make a “Big Bang Theory” reference, putting myself into the role of Penny.  I’m down for most things, and I like hanging out with nerdy people, it makes me smile, but…if Dungeons and Dragons gets pulled out and I’m asked to play that, I’m going to need to be drunk to say yes to that, and not sober like I was this week.  Just saying that, because if asked to play that, I’m going to go from my “what the fuck are you talking about” face to my “you’re fucking kidding me” look.
   
   After we played Pandemic, we sat in the kitchen talking, and guess what…the power went out, through most of the town.  The kids had just gone to bed, so a little bit of craziness ensued, but it was actually handled quite well.  We sat by candle light chatting until the rain outside abated a bit, so that Jack could take me home.  I even admitted something to him that happened in the past year, that I’m getting a little bit better at talking about with a small handful of female friends, that I can actually only count on one hand, but that I haven’t divulged to any of the males in my life.  And I was fine with it.  I didn’t give any details, but, that’s a big step for me.  He’s a good listener though, and I like that there’s still some guys that treat you on an equal level, don’t demean you, don’t try to have a level of control, just provide simple equal level and a strong sense of goodness.
   
   That night, we discovered a shared interest in music (Escape the Fate and Falling in Reverse), a love of Lord of the Rings, some of the same outlook on our town and the people within it.  And since then, we’ve also found that we both love X-Men, and got started on it due to the TV show in the nineties.  He’s pretty awesome, and I look forward to hanging out and talking with him more.  I mean, someone that’s a guy that tells me that I am “quite an individual” who he can “say that [he’s] never met anyone like [me] before” is sure to be fun, without it leading to something completely geared towards wanting to get me in the bedroom.  I like being able to have real conversations without ALWAYS hitting a wall or ALWAYS having someone give me what I want or something.  Hope we can hang out more, when I get back from the trip south I hope to be having soon, and before he heads back to college.
   
   Wow, that’s a weird thought…, talking about friends heading off to college for another year or more, and I’m no longer a student.  Odd.  It’s still going to take a very long time to get used to things post-college.  Heck, at least I’m strengthening friendships though, so no matter where my friends or I are, I can still talk to them.  I don’t need constant company in person, just being able to have friends that I can talk to no matter what, is wonderful, and yes…in-person time like hanging out with Jack, those are awesome moments as well.  And silly things I can write about, without the darker stuff, or whatnot.  A fantastic balance, and for me, balance is key.
   
   
4. Have you ever read The Seer and the Sword by Victoria Hanley?  If not, you should.  Especially if you like medieval stories.  And stories about deceit and power, and of love and strength.  And men that are handsome within your mind.
   
   I used to read this book often in high school, where it became a regular I loved returning to, getting constant usage from the public library.  Last summer, I had managed to browse the library’s annual book sale that is done during sidewalk sales, the first day, which is a first.  I was ecstatic that I did!  I walked away with an overloaded box containing approximately forty books, for a total of five dollars.  Glory to the heavens!  Among those books, this had been included, a beloved diamond for me.  I could finally own it.  Now, a couple of weeks after I have finished college and am finally able to read books for the pure joy of it once more.  I find myself curling up with it and losing myself in the world of the kingdoms of Archeld and Desante, and the love story of Landen the prince who lost his kingdom of Belandra, and the daughter of his country’s conqueror who became his dearest friend, Torina.  Did I mention Landen is exactly my type of man, and Torina is a red-haired woman with a spirit I find kindred?
   
   I grabbed the book off my shelves on Wednesday, when I had to go to Buffalo with my dad to run some errands.  I read it during the ride there, in and out of waiting rooms, and on the ride home.  I may be slower at reading than when I was younger, but I am loving getting lost in the familiar old paths of the story, and still finding more within it, and inside of my own soul.  I managed to probably get about half of the novel finished just that day alone, and part of me doesn’t want to stop reading it instead of doing anything else, while another part of me wants to drag it out as long as possible.  It’s like having an old friend keeping you comfort in the middle of life.  I love it.  And this is a good reason I love a good book, and a good story: the magic held within, and the power to captivate.
   
   
5. Yesterday, I got to hear from my friend Kammie, who was one of my closest friends my last two years of college.  Even though we are seventeen years apart, our friendship really doesn’t depend on age.  She has a slightly younger soul, while telling me I rarely act like most people in their early twenties.  I haven’t seen her or gotten the chance to talk to her since the night before Commencement.
   
   How long did we talk?  Oh...just a little over an hour, and trust me, the two of us could have talked longer.  We joked about different things that have happened since we didn’t see each other, what, two weeks ago?  We chatted about guys, which is a common staple among our conversations, the ones she has grown to realize are not worth her life, and the funny little spots (and I mean little spots, because not much is happening).  It was good to hear how she is cleaning out the people and things she doesn’t need in her life, and taking some charge.  The tattoo she got for herself as her graduation present instead of attending our ceremony, I think is important and perfect for her.  The ink is in the shape of a heart, and says “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”  I remember when she made that decision a few months ago, and we sat during our weekly lunch, having me somewhat sketch out the idea so she could actually have a visual (I did it poorly, and her tattoo is not what I drew) but she looks perfect.
   
   It’s good that even though only a little time has passed so far, we can talk about whatever, and swap stories and support each other.  We’ve only been out of college not even a month yet, and we’re already making small steps in our lives, both believing that even the small stuff is important.  My sister that I grew up with up here in New York may have told me at times that most of the friends I made during my college years are all going to fade away, but I don’t believe it.  I will be the obstinate woman that I am and refute that statement.  With friends like Kammie, as well as some of my other girls, I’m confident that I’m not the only one who will make effort and that I’m going to keep my connections and tight relationships strong; even if they have to alter to the new way of our lives.  Friendship is important, no matter how old you are, and no matter how many years separate you.  If there’s a connection and a good enough bond, friendship will transcend.
   
   
6. Another small thing, that is in regards to yesterday, and I’m sorry random guy in the universe that this about, if you’re reading this, but when I talked with Kammie and my mom about this, we all laugh.  What happened?  Well, I had a guy that drove out to the sticks, trying to sell things door to door.  First off, I was surprised that people still do that besides people trying to get you to buy stuff from kids (hello, I was the girl that sold candy bars for my fundraisers through school and cookies through the 4-H) and religion.  With the internet as overpowering in today’s society and the way that chain stores dominate as well, door salesmen will take a girl my age a bit off-guard.  Especially when I see them pull into my driveway and I don’t know the vehicle or not expecting anyone, so my first thought is: who the fuck are you and what are you doing on my property.  Yeah, notice the country upbringing any?
   
   Anyway…the first thing out of the guy’s mouth when I opened my back door, was: “are you the mother of the house?” Wait, hold the phone, first, how old do you think I was, and two, even if you guessed that I was in my early twenties, you really think that at my age, I could afford a good home like this as well as all this land? Only if I had a farm loving sugar daddy, and…I don’t do that.  I quickly corrected him, saying no, I’m the daughter of the house.  His eyes brightened and he went to ask if my parents were home.  Automatically dropping my age, thinking that I fit into the age level of what his products were geared towards: preschoolers learning to read all the way to teenagers needing prep material for their SATs and ACTs.  I was sixteen when I took those exams, so what is the age range that I was being put into?  I mean, yes, I recall that two years ago, when I went down south and my sister Marci and I realized that depending on the day and how I was dressed, etc, I could pull of the ten range if I were to act or something: five years younger approximately or five years older.  My sister was a theatre major, so things like this have snuck into our conversations.
   
   I quickly dismissed the guy’s guesses, telling him immediately that we had no need for the products, because I am the youngest in this house, and just graduated from college.  Why did he react in shock? I mean, kudos for covering that up fast, and man, you were smooth.  However, I’m not a ditzy girl and was on my game yesterday, being able to tell just from your slight movements alone on how you were working.  Why do I say this?  I say it, because after he recovered from the quick shock that I wasn’t a mother, and not a kid in need of his stock, I was a target for flirtation.  THIS is when he introduced himself, shaking my hand and doing that scan that one does when they’re measuring another in regards of attraction.  I don’t know what he saw, because I mean, I was wearing old jeans that I had cut into shorts, as tank top, and my long red hair coiled into a bun on the very top of my head, and not a spot of makeup.  The kind of outfit a girl doesn’t expect flirtation in, just comfort.  This is when most of our conversation took place.  He kept trying to get a little closer and sweet talk me.  I guess that he was also hoping that since he was giving me a hundred-watt smile and telling me he was in college himself (no, I don’t remember major, school, or his name, I didn’t really care), that I would be able to tell him what other homes on my road had kids that would be of age.  I live on a road that goes on for miles, and don’t know everyone, even though I’ve lived here since I was three.  I also cannot recall who I do know, on whether or not they have kids or what ages the kids are.  Tough break dude, your sweet talking didn’t pass.
   
   So…how old do I look? If we were to follow the ten range rule, without make up and sexy clothes, I guess I could possibly pull off the sixteen and with that whole shebang, possibly twenty-six.  Do I want to be considered either age?  No.  Does flirtation work with me to help you get further with your sales, especially when I’m smart enough to know that you are more into the sale’s progress than me?  Not really.  Did I give him my number in the five minutes we talked before I saw him off I returned to the cooler recesses of my home?  Nope.  Is it nice though that I got hit on and can confuse others with my age while in my comfortable, hot-day, get chores done get-up?  Yep.

~Count your blessings, and whether things are bad or you’re doing well, find something good and hold on!

Much love!

~*~Alyse~*~