A memory slips in.
My heart skips a beat.
I don’t know what to feel,
What to think.
My body shudders.
The earth turns on its axis.
Another year comes
And is gone.
Look to the night sky
As lightning strikes—
Remembering your soft lips
As we stood on the porch steps.
For months, after you left
I built walls, like yours.
I numbed myself when it came to men;
No one could get in.
Then one summer night,
I stood alone on a balcony,
My head tilted upward as I stared
At the stars up high.
A cool breeze brushed against my arms
As I slipped off my shoes, my feet bare,
I felt as my arms hung limply by my sides,
As the walls deteriorated
And all that was left,
Was the spirit, the essence,
The memory of my heartache—
That of me and you.
My breath was caught in my throat
As far in the distance,
Heat lightning flashed and fireworks exploded.
Imaginary arms wrapped themselves around me,
And in that moment,
Not only did I miss you,
I knew it was time to stop hiding—
Time to move on, move forward.
My heart couldn’t take it,
Someone driven by love and here on earth because of it,
Should not fear it.
Yes, you broke me.
It was like somehow the diamond in the rough,
Was ground to dust—
I was choking on it.
Tears flow freely,
Your name is a sting to my flesh.
The sight of you causes all my senses to crash.
As friends shake me, ask if I’m okay
But I’m just gone from this plane—
It’s a temporary escape.
One day, I shall face.
My prayer is to walk up to you,
I’ll smile—
For I was the angel you needed,
And nothing should be forgotten,
But from the depths of what is me,
I erase my pride.
All is forgiven.
My love for you, I’m sure will continue on,
Though the love for myself has grown.
And as I mark the end to my first twenty years,
I know now that life goes on
And there are chapters after Gursslin.
Peace for me; it does exist.
I can have happiness, and contentment once again,
No matter how fleeting,
It is there.
I hope you are well.
I send kisses on the beams of white light.
You’re welcome to enter my life again,
I’ll welcome you with open arms,
But leave the walls and veil,
At our history’s door.
I do not know what lies in store,
I just want you to know—
I’m doing alright on my own.
Look to the sky, when night falls
Think of me, the warmth of my hand
The friendship that shall always exist.
You are not alone, out there in the world,
I still care, you’ve got someone on your side.
Romantic entanglement—maybe it’s not for us,
Just follow your heart,
Let your spirit whisper—
Don’t tell it to hush like you used to.
True love happens when lightning strikes.
