I suck in air, a deep breath in, to my diaphragm.
I can feel the muscles in my abdomen clench
As the warm air stings like cold ice against my teeth.
That's the physical of my actions, of what I'm willing to
show anymore.
I'm not going to show you anymore, if I can.
I'm fighting it.
With that deep inhale, I am stuffing my heart
As it suffocates, down my throat back between my ribs where
it belongs.
My eyes want their windows to leak,
Cry tears of the heartache I live with each day,
But I refuse.
I'm fighting it.
I am going to be aloof to the relationship longed for.
Friendship is what is given, friendship is all that will be
had.
You want more? I'm not going to give it.
I'm fighting it.
You'll have to fight for it.
Fight for more than just my hand and my love that comforts
you.
On the nights that you're cold.
On the nights that you're lonely.
On the nights that you decide that you'll admit that you
miss me.
Me though?
I'm fighting it.
I'm broken and shattered, but I've been that way for years.
You just reopen the scabs that refuse to heal.
The blood though, I'm going to use as fuel.
Power me, push me.
You're going to love me more,
While I'll hold these walls up, with a lean-to with my back,
Grinding my teeth, clenching my eyelids shut, my lips
pressed tight.
I'll be real. More real than before, if that's truly
possible.
I'll make you dream.
I know I dream.
I'll always dream.
I'm fighting it.
