The Saturday Six (Five)

1. On Monday, I spent the majority of my day with Jack again.  It was fun.  We ran some errands with his mom while his siblings were at school, and since he works at a store, he seems to get similar quirks as I do since I worked in a library.  He made sure products that were put back, were put in the correct area, and put away more than one shopping cart.  I admit, things like this should have cued me into knowing I would spend my entire day in laughter.
   
   We spent some time with his mom, who I really enjoy talking with, and he taught me how to play Stratego.  Capture the flag, board game version.  Yeah, I suck at it, which some of my friends from college would probably balk at.  Me, the one who is the one that comes up with game plans, goals and steps, studies weapons, is creative, etc, cannot do a board game dealing with maneuvers.  Oh well.  I enjoyed it, and I really am not the kind of person that gets upset if I lose a game.  I may have a little bit of a competitive spirit, but I know how to be a good loser.  And besides, it was my first time, so it’s all good.
   
   I learned more about Jack, and I had a fantastic time, and by the end of the day, my cheeks ached from the amount of laughter and smiling that I had done for hours.  I cannot remember the last time I exuded so much happiness.  I don’t know, but he does pretty well at making me not think about the bad things and just give flight to free, while still keeping it all low-key and simple.  It’s wonderful.
   
   Singing Disney songs with him and his little sister in the kitchen, albeit a bit off key, was fun, too, just saying.  Granted, I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to watch movies like The Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty, or even two of my favorites, Beauty and the Beast and Pocahontas, due to him pretending to sing like a girl.  Oh my, I’m trying not to dissolve into a fit of giggles just thinking about it right now.
   
   
2. Okay, so since it was my favorite part of the day I had with Jack, this is getting it’s own point.  At one point, Jack got out his acoustic guitar and played for me for a good while.  Including singing.  While he made me laugh hysterically when he went out of his vocal range, his playing was damn good.  And there was just something when he did a few songs, that were within his range, that…I guess you could say got me.  I’m not going to share exactly my thoughts completely, or what I felt, but it was amazing…it just, struck me I suppose you could say?
   
   I also did something rare; I sang for Jack.  I’ve sang for my recordings, and for my female friends, and a few small performances (which actually go better with some of my own reaction to my doing this), but never for a single guy.  I sing A Capella of course, because I don’t play an instrument and that would need more practice for the future, but I decided to sing “Soldier” by Anna Nalick to him, since it’s the one I know and do best (go to my youtube page if you want to hear).  I closed my eyes and tried, and I nailed the tune, but I was so caught up in the moment I suppose, that I couldn’t remember most of the lyrics for the life of me.  It was strange.  I also was barely breathing, and it was different for me.  Not like the anxiety I feel for my performances, but I still did get extremely hot like I do at times, which is completely obvious due to my porcelain skin.  Seriously, I’m sure, that with the way my blood flows at times, I’d look like a bottle of wine to a vampire.
   
   Poor Jack, I’m afraid I’ve confused the guy.  He’s got to figure out the look I gave, which he told me later on in the week in a text as he described it went like this: "After I finished a song, I looked to you for approval. I asked 'What?’ perplexed by the look I saw. You slightly shook your head and gracefully closed your eyes and said 'Nothing' as you smiled and your eyes opened with a radiance that shone through the room like sunlight."  I’m not sure what to think, but I know I don’t know how to respond; no sensible words want to form.  And yeah, that smile creeps back.
   
   I figured something out during the music, something I guess you could say took me by surprise and that I didn’t expect.  It’s kind of like magic brewed.  It was something that fits into the indescribable I suppose.  I know from then, that some things are going to be interesting.  Let’s see what life gives.
   
   
3. I also got a chance to chat with some of my writer friends.  M. R. Bryant has a new blog and she’s getting a lot written for her books!  She’s also wanted me to brainstorm a name for a small character, which makes me feel shiny.  Can one feel shiny?  Well, if you couldn’t before, I say you can, because I do. 
   
   I talked with Jess Russell, but then again, when do I go a week without talking with her?  Random and important things, but no matter what, we are there for each other and there’s love.  What else matters?
   
   And yes, I joked and the sisterhood of the traveling pen connection between Michelle Anderson-Picarella, Dawn Kirby, and myself is pretty awesome.  It’s been decided that some would probably pay for the conversations that can occur between us.  We’ve also agreed that we are going to have to do some long talks, either through private webcam or telephone.  I’ll need to get my parents and any children out of listening shot though, never knowing what will come out of my mouth with those two.  Funny, you’d think that we were closer in age and not from different points in the country.  Whatever happens though for communication, going to need fully charged batteries.
   
   Dawn, Michelle, and I also talked about traveling, and my favorite city, Nashville.  And performances.  Michelle has never been to Nashville, but Dawn and I have, both standing upon the Ryman stage.  I’m glad to know I’m not the only one to have felt the magic that seemed to be there, the amount of emotion and inspiration and awe standing where the greats have stood.  I went when I was fourteen, and seven years later, that memory feels so much more recent.  It was powerful.
   
   I’m thankful that I can have writers like these four women to turn to for writing as well as for life.  No matter how different we are, there’s a high acceptance from them, and so much love.  It’s a foundation and air to help wings to soar and float.  You don’t stand still, metaphorically speaking.
   
   
4. Wednesday morning, bright and earlier, my oldest sister and niece arrived.  I was already up because I was having trouble sleeping, but when I saw the text reading that she was here, my mama laughed at me.  Why?  Because I walked up to our living room hallway to cock my head and peak through the kitchen sink window out at our driveway.  When I saw my sister, I squealed and ran in my nightgown to the door.  I love my family, can’ you tell?  Haha.
   
   The girls went straight to bed after giving us naps, and I even took a small nap myself (high rarity of this in my life).  Later on, dad took us around town to run errands with him, and we went out to eat with our sister Ash, her boyfriend, and Camerin.  Camerin seems to really love his older cousin, because when we left the restaurant, he told Madison that she was riding with him.
   
   We then went to my sister’s house, where Camerin decided he had to show his cousin all of his toys, while we looked at photos in the living room, and chatted about various things.  Mom even found a Dear Abby article in the newspaper that had us all laughing, and I tried a straw-ber-rita in a can.  It was strong….  After the tomfoolery there, and because we had to get moving since my dad was falling asleep on the couch next to me and Marci was bound to fall asleep next to Ashley, we told the kids to pick up.  Took a little time, but it happened, and then Camerin didn’t want Madison to go!  It was adorable.
   
   When we got home, Marci taught me how to play Phase 10, and her, Madison, dad and I played.  Madison chose our names…and I don’t know about that kid sometimes, because they were some odd names!  Dad was Silly Cat who then named her Goldilocks, and then she named her mom Angry Syrup, and I got to be Funny Apple.  My niece has an imagination.  A slap-happy one, but a good one.  We played until about one in the morning, and during the game, Madison pulled out….dad won, and Marci and I somehow tied for second place.  Not too bad.
   
   
5. On Thursday, I had Marci go through some of my old tops and a few skirts that I can’t wear anymore.  It made her feel wonderful, because being the oldest she never got hand-me-downs.  Thanks to me, she got to have what we decided to call hand-me-ups!  I’m happy that I was able to make my sister smile and feel good with that.  And it meant some of my clothes that I loved were going to a good home, and are now going to be worn by a beautiful woman.
   
   After supper, Marci, Madison, dad and myself, all went over to one of his friend’s from the VFW, to help count poppy money.  We ripped the bottom of the boxes open and had a pile of green covering the gorgeous granite table top.  Madison was very helpful, helping sort and collected all of the change.  We all chatted and laughed, and Cindy, our hostess, got the men beers, my niece a soda, and us women some nice wine.  A wino!  Ah, how that makes me smile.  And I actually felt like I was being treated like an adult for once, especially when I made a comment to Cindy that you’d think the money was from a different thing, due to the amount of ones.  Her response was yeah, someone must’ve had a really good night!  The stripper joke went over my niece’s head, thankfully, while everyone else enjoyed it.  It was good to see how much money was raised through the poppy sales though, for the VFW.  And to lend a helping hand.
   
   Afterwards, we got home, and I was a bit worried when I got into the house, because I knew my mama was home but she wasn’t down stairs.  I went up to her room, to find that she wasn’t feeling good, so I went and brought her some Tylenol and water, and let her rest.  When I was back downstairs, Marci and dad proceeded to teach Madison and I how to play euchre.  Many people have taken upon this challenge since I was probably eleven, and have failed.  And our sister Ashley could tell you how shocking it is that I’m from our area, am twenty-one, and still didn’t know how to play euchre.  It’s a big thing in our county, and I guess you could say it’s the main card game around here.  Well congrats to my sister and my dad, they managed to teach us and have it sink in.  There’s a chance I shall forget a bit, but I’m slightly more sure of myself in regards to this game than I was before.  I think my dad was also more patient with me learning this time, because my niece was there, too, and he wanted her to learn.
   
   Madison and I were a team, and for beginners, we did decent.  We brought in about five points.  Huzzah!
   
   
6. Yesterday, was an…interesting day, I suppose you could say.  I got a lot done, even though mama had been sent home to rest, and I didn’t want to wake her.  I did most of our laundry, washed and put away dishes, baked brownies for dad to take to today’s euchre tournament (see, I told you it’s a big thing around here), made my niece breakfast, and worked a little on my writing.  Oh, and the stuff that I did have ready to go into storage for my future apartment, etc, I sent up into the barn.  You can now see our living room floor a bit better thanks to that!
   
   Marci, Madison and I had to get some stuff at Walmart, and since Jack wanted to see me, he hung out with us as we shopped.  My sister thinks he’s pretty awesome, and he thought she was hilarious, score for me!  He kept playing the songs he knew without an instrument while we were walking around, and it made me smile.  He also found out how handy my sister is, and the discussed possible ways to have a Scarecrow costume (from Batman) be made.  I love that they connected, and that they liked each other.  In some ways, my sister thought it was sort of like having our mutual friend (her friend first of course) Barry around.  I’m just happy it went well and that we were able to make even a little trip to Walmart fun.
   
   When we were in the parking lot I also got to see my friend ‘Trix, who, I daresay almost leaped out of her van shouting “Lily!” to say hi to me.  I love how friends are at times.

So I know that many more good things happened this week, small and big, but it’s so hard to choose what to talk about when that happens, because I can’t recall the last time I had such a positive week, and felt as happy as I do.  I’ve gotten to see old friends, I’ve gotten to be with my family, I’ve gotten things accomplished, and have had so many smiles and laughs that is makes my heart swell.  Other little tidbits about this week: ran into an old friend at the YMCA who was lifeguarding as I watched my family play in the water (haven’t had time to try on my old suit yet); I got to watch my niece help with my nephew at the store last night; family dinners of us all together; watching my oldest niece read to my youngest nephew; and my Uncle Russ came out with my cousin, Tonya, for a surprise visit this morning.  Good week, wouldn’t you say?

Well, now that I have watched everyone head out for euchre tournament for the kids to hang out with my sister Ashley, I can head up to my bedroom and get some more much needed work done, so that way I can put it out of the way and just plain have it done!

~Count your blessings, and whether things are bad or you’re doing well, find something good and hold on!

Much love!

~*~Alyse~*~

The Yo-Yo Game

We’ve played the game of yo-yo,

You wrapped a string around my heart so long ago.

Ups and downs,

Highs and lows,

Lead me along

Like walking the dog.

But I’m not a dog to you am I?

You never really got to see the bitch inside,

It was often muted.

I was and am to you,

A goodie-good.

You really no longer know who I am, do you?

The string has slowly sliced my organs,

But the bleeding is okay,

I’ve learned to withstand the pain.

I’m strong.

I’m proud.

No longer bringing me to the ground with agony,

Because like an actress

Or a woman in a painting,

I can conceal quite well now

The tears and wanting inside.

I know how to go on without waiting now.

You withheld your flirtations you had with other girls

Got with some as well,

I’m not going to keep anything from you on it,

If you ask if other guys have come along that I’ve flirted with,

I will answer with a simple yes,

I’m not the kind of person that will keep it from you

And just remain silent.

We were always friends first,

So where’s the friend that I could trust

And would put my life in the hands of?

I’m good, oh yes I am

But there’s plenty that you wouldn’t believe

Keep me in the distance of the string

Wrapped around your finger.

Oh well, shame

You’ve missed another chance.

I’m going on, if you talk,

That’s fine, I’ll respond,

But if you want more,

You’re going to need to take action,

More than just words that look beautiful

Or sound like sinfully happy music to my ears.

You want a relationship, for real

Don’t come to me with words

And more excuses

Like the ones where you’d say you wanted me

Wanted us to take the next step,

And then respond with a “but here’s what’s stopping me.”

Nothing should be stopping you.

If you really do love

If you really do care

Show me.

Learn who I am now

And take action.

My life waits for no man.

The Saturday Six (Four)

***This was written Saturday morning of June 1st, took a while to post because I was without internet from Wednesday evening until now***

A shout out to my best friend, Christine, today; she finally gets to walk and get her diploma for when she graduated in December.  So proud of her, she worked long and hard.  I would be there watching her, as she watched me, but I unfortunately don’t have the transportation or anyone who would want to waste time while I’m spending time with her.  Anyways, I’m so proud of her.  Way to go Yoda, Power Puff Girls AWAY! *Swoosh*

1. Sunday was Camerin’s birthday party over at my sister’s house at the lake.  There were a good number of kids there, and it was low key for the most part.  I like low key.  I also like wine, and my sister made sangria for those of us adults that could drink.  Oh my, how I felt sorry for our friend Jackie who is pregnant, she wanted the drink so bad, but she wouldn’t even dare to sniff it.  We had to fight to keep the drinks out of the kids’ reach, because they thought it was cool that we were eating fruit out of our cups.  Well, needless to say, we had to tell them to eat fruit salad because it was grown up fruit in our cups.
   
   There was a good turn out, and quite a few people I haven’t seen in what felt like ages.  Being off at college away from these good people makes it a little hard.  I did get to talk with one of my favorite pairs of twins that I grew up around, who my dad and ma call their adopted kids.  Ashley even nabbed a picture of her, the twins, me, and my mom.  She said it was too bad my dad had gone home to nap, otherwise he could have been in the picture, and it could have been a family picture of sorts.
   
   It’s good to see all the little kids again, some of whom I’ve known before they could walk.  Two of the girls, who are always my shadows when we get together, I babysat once when I was in high school, and the oldest is now going into the fourth grade.  Seriously, between the kids in my life that aren’t family and then my nieces and nephews, I keep saying “STAY LITTLE!” Of course, no one listens, because you can’t freeze time.  Even when they scream or don’t listen, or just off in their own worlds however, the kids are still cute.
   
   By nine that night though, I was tired and just wanted to sit back with my feet up.  Great company is wonderful, but at the end of the night, I like my quiet and I like less people around me.  Bid everyone that was left adieu, and then mama and I went home where we watched an episode of “Hawaii Five-0” with my dad and ate big bowls of air-popped popcorn and I could finally take my wrist support and the arm band I had on my elbow off.  Kids are beautiful, and I love them, but I still am going to be saying that I’m good being just an aunt for now.  I’m good at it, and very loving and will do anything—but I’m good on the other aspects for now.  Seriously, may want it, may dream of it, but for now, I don’t need to be a mother.  The title of aunt works just fine for now at twenty-one.
   
   So bottom line: Camerin seemed to enjoy his party but was more into just playing outside on his own that with others but liked his toys.  We had to have our one friend’s son, Gavin, blow out the candles on the cake because Camerin didn’t want to.  Ashley wanted to introduce me to someone, but they couldn’t make it, which is okay.  I don’t know you, so I can’t be upset.  The sangria was delicious.  The day was somewhat cool, and the small campfire felt good.  The company was loving and full of friendship.  Not a drop of rain or snow was to be found.  And I got to end the night with popcorn my favorite way, on a comfy couch, and the eye candy of the sexy Alex O’Laughlin on our TV screen.  And was slightly early to bed and asleep by eleven-ish.
   
   
2. For the most part of my week, I’ve been cleaning.  Unpacking and sorting, and packing away things, trying to get my bedroom here at my parents’ house where I can actually access stuff, move around, and somewhat use it.  It’s been a long and slow process.  So far, I’ve got two boxes of things I’m getting rid of, two boxes of knick-knacks that went into storage (still have plenty on my shelves), and two totes that went into storage: one that is pretty much my filing system and things like that, while the other is scrapbooking and mementos.  I am years behind on my scrapbooking, and on having any hard copies of pictures, let alone put into albums.  My albums alone and the hard copies I have of photos are still in one footlocker stuffed in my closet that I have yet to rifle through.
   
   All of my loose papers for current writing projects are put together at least now, and things are sorted… I just have to put more things away, and dust, and choose what apartment stuff I have can go out into storage and what will have to stay in my room.  I also have one tote of old clothes to go through, and decide what I’m keeping of that and what I’m giving away.  I always do that.  I don’t keep tons of clothes that I can’t fit into at the moment or that I may want to wear again one day.  If I still like the clothing but it’s a little small, I put it into one tote.  If it doesn’t fit into the tote, it doesn’t stay.  And I go through it every year; quite an effective system, and doesn’t harm the self-esteem quite as much.
   
   My sister will be here from Tennessee by Monday night, so I really have to haul ass on all this cleaning and whatnot, because otherwise, I’ll be in trouble.  Haha.  I also need to unpack all my tea and nonperishable foods and put them away.  And wash linens so that my totes of that stuff can go into storage.  I’m proud and happy with how much I’ve accomplished though, the aches and pains, sneezes and heat aside.  And have enjoyed my little arrangement of music I’ve had blasting and singing along to as I worked, ya know, just some rock, some Paramore, some SheDAISY, some Play, and my Mama Mia soundtrack.  If I had some of my hardcore stuff on CDs, I’d probably have listened to some of that, too.
   
   I also want to get what I can done, because if I can do it, during the days that I have free before I head out on my trip, I would like to spend a little time with my friend Brandi, and some more time with Jack.  Yes, we’ve been talking, a lot, and I’m enjoying it, and would like some more of his company.  And, it’s been a very long time since I’ve hung out with Brandi one-on-one.  Just have to see what days Marci won’t be at the house, because when people visit, I don’t like to be rude and scamper off to be with others, especially when it’s people I love and rarely see.  I’m going to soak up as much time with my oldest sister and oldest niece as I can.  Let’s hope I can swing all this time with folks and get the house into better shape!  Anyone got an extra arm to help me out when mine goes shaky so I can keep chugging along?  Haha.
   
   
3. On Tuesday, I hung out with my friend Jack, who I met back in high school. Yeah, we didn’t talk much back then, but we’ve started getting to know each other recently.  I always thought him nice, but now, I can see how comfortable I am around him.  He’s got this awesome vibe, that’s rare for me to find in the male species.  Haha.  It was like I could be very comfortable and content.  Most days, around a lot of guys, even if they’re friends, after a while, I just want to go home or send them off.  It sounds bad, but either the conversation goes stale, silence occurs, or it goes into an area where I just don’t want to be at that moment.  With Jack, I had fun, we couldn’t stop talking, but it wasn’t to fill up silence, it was just plain, “You too?” and “Explain?” And laughter, and just, it was really good.
   
   He picked me up, because I still have no license, and yes, most of my male friends are tall, and I often forget that at times.  Had to get on my tiptoes slightly to give him a hug when he got out of the car, and had to hope that my dad’s dog, Bear, didn’t come closer and topple me over.  We got to his house, where we ate pizza, and I got to meet his parents and his younger brothers and sister.  Oh my goodness, his sister is adorable! And she is about the same age as my oldest niece.  Showed me around the downstairs, and then him, his parents, and I hung out in the kitchen.  We talked a lot, and they taught me how to play bananagrams (I think that’s what it’s called).  It was interesting, and even though I didn’t win, I enjoyed it.  It made your mind work, which I think are some of the best kind of games (give me a Trivia game, and teach me the things I don’t know already, and you’re golden).  This game was more of a Scrabble feel, but without numbers, and where each person made their own crossword; I liked it.
   
   I like his family, they were all really kind to me, and I liked that I could be myself, even if it was kind of like a PG setting.  Which, for me, it’s become hard to be myself and comfortable in a PG setting most days and comfortable PG settings are hard to come by without the stress.  It was awesome, laid-back, and just plain good.  After we finished the word game, Jack, his mom, and I played this game called Pandemic, which I had never heard of, and I sat there with my “what the fuck are you talking about” look plastered on my face, with natural curiosity.  I said I was down, but yes, I did make a “Big Bang Theory” reference, putting myself into the role of Penny.  I’m down for most things, and I like hanging out with nerdy people, it makes me smile, but…if Dungeons and Dragons gets pulled out and I’m asked to play that, I’m going to need to be drunk to say yes to that, and not sober like I was this week.  Just saying that, because if asked to play that, I’m going to go from my “what the fuck are you talking about” face to my “you’re fucking kidding me” look.
   
   After we played Pandemic, we sat in the kitchen talking, and guess what…the power went out, through most of the town.  The kids had just gone to bed, so a little bit of craziness ensued, but it was actually handled quite well.  We sat by candle light chatting until the rain outside abated a bit, so that Jack could take me home.  I even admitted something to him that happened in the past year, that I’m getting a little bit better at talking about with a small handful of female friends, that I can actually only count on one hand, but that I haven’t divulged to any of the males in my life.  And I was fine with it.  I didn’t give any details, but, that’s a big step for me.  He’s a good listener though, and I like that there’s still some guys that treat you on an equal level, don’t demean you, don’t try to have a level of control, just provide simple equal level and a strong sense of goodness.
   
   That night, we discovered a shared interest in music (Escape the Fate and Falling in Reverse), a love of Lord of the Rings, some of the same outlook on our town and the people within it.  And since then, we’ve also found that we both love X-Men, and got started on it due to the TV show in the nineties.  He’s pretty awesome, and I look forward to hanging out and talking with him more.  I mean, someone that’s a guy that tells me that I am “quite an individual” who he can “say that [he’s] never met anyone like [me] before” is sure to be fun, without it leading to something completely geared towards wanting to get me in the bedroom.  I like being able to have real conversations without ALWAYS hitting a wall or ALWAYS having someone give me what I want or something.  Hope we can hang out more, when I get back from the trip south I hope to be having soon, and before he heads back to college.
   
   Wow, that’s a weird thought…, talking about friends heading off to college for another year or more, and I’m no longer a student.  Odd.  It’s still going to take a very long time to get used to things post-college.  Heck, at least I’m strengthening friendships though, so no matter where my friends or I are, I can still talk to them.  I don’t need constant company in person, just being able to have friends that I can talk to no matter what, is wonderful, and yes…in-person time like hanging out with Jack, those are awesome moments as well.  And silly things I can write about, without the darker stuff, or whatnot.  A fantastic balance, and for me, balance is key.
   
   
4. Have you ever read The Seer and the Sword by Victoria Hanley?  If not, you should.  Especially if you like medieval stories.  And stories about deceit and power, and of love and strength.  And men that are handsome within your mind.
   
   I used to read this book often in high school, where it became a regular I loved returning to, getting constant usage from the public library.  Last summer, I had managed to browse the library’s annual book sale that is done during sidewalk sales, the first day, which is a first.  I was ecstatic that I did!  I walked away with an overloaded box containing approximately forty books, for a total of five dollars.  Glory to the heavens!  Among those books, this had been included, a beloved diamond for me.  I could finally own it.  Now, a couple of weeks after I have finished college and am finally able to read books for the pure joy of it once more.  I find myself curling up with it and losing myself in the world of the kingdoms of Archeld and Desante, and the love story of Landen the prince who lost his kingdom of Belandra, and the daughter of his country’s conqueror who became his dearest friend, Torina.  Did I mention Landen is exactly my type of man, and Torina is a red-haired woman with a spirit I find kindred?
   
   I grabbed the book off my shelves on Wednesday, when I had to go to Buffalo with my dad to run some errands.  I read it during the ride there, in and out of waiting rooms, and on the ride home.  I may be slower at reading than when I was younger, but I am loving getting lost in the familiar old paths of the story, and still finding more within it, and inside of my own soul.  I managed to probably get about half of the novel finished just that day alone, and part of me doesn’t want to stop reading it instead of doing anything else, while another part of me wants to drag it out as long as possible.  It’s like having an old friend keeping you comfort in the middle of life.  I love it.  And this is a good reason I love a good book, and a good story: the magic held within, and the power to captivate.
   
   
5. Yesterday, I got to hear from my friend Kammie, who was one of my closest friends my last two years of college.  Even though we are seventeen years apart, our friendship really doesn’t depend on age.  She has a slightly younger soul, while telling me I rarely act like most people in their early twenties.  I haven’t seen her or gotten the chance to talk to her since the night before Commencement.
   
   How long did we talk?  Oh...just a little over an hour, and trust me, the two of us could have talked longer.  We joked about different things that have happened since we didn’t see each other, what, two weeks ago?  We chatted about guys, which is a common staple among our conversations, the ones she has grown to realize are not worth her life, and the funny little spots (and I mean little spots, because not much is happening).  It was good to hear how she is cleaning out the people and things she doesn’t need in her life, and taking some charge.  The tattoo she got for herself as her graduation present instead of attending our ceremony, I think is important and perfect for her.  The ink is in the shape of a heart, and says “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”  I remember when she made that decision a few months ago, and we sat during our weekly lunch, having me somewhat sketch out the idea so she could actually have a visual (I did it poorly, and her tattoo is not what I drew) but she looks perfect.
   
   It’s good that even though only a little time has passed so far, we can talk about whatever, and swap stories and support each other.  We’ve only been out of college not even a month yet, and we’re already making small steps in our lives, both believing that even the small stuff is important.  My sister that I grew up with up here in New York may have told me at times that most of the friends I made during my college years are all going to fade away, but I don’t believe it.  I will be the obstinate woman that I am and refute that statement.  With friends like Kammie, as well as some of my other girls, I’m confident that I’m not the only one who will make effort and that I’m going to keep my connections and tight relationships strong; even if they have to alter to the new way of our lives.  Friendship is important, no matter how old you are, and no matter how many years separate you.  If there’s a connection and a good enough bond, friendship will transcend.
   
   
6. Another small thing, that is in regards to yesterday, and I’m sorry random guy in the universe that this about, if you’re reading this, but when I talked with Kammie and my mom about this, we all laugh.  What happened?  Well, I had a guy that drove out to the sticks, trying to sell things door to door.  First off, I was surprised that people still do that besides people trying to get you to buy stuff from kids (hello, I was the girl that sold candy bars for my fundraisers through school and cookies through the 4-H) and religion.  With the internet as overpowering in today’s society and the way that chain stores dominate as well, door salesmen will take a girl my age a bit off-guard.  Especially when I see them pull into my driveway and I don’t know the vehicle or not expecting anyone, so my first thought is: who the fuck are you and what are you doing on my property.  Yeah, notice the country upbringing any?
   
   Anyway…the first thing out of the guy’s mouth when I opened my back door, was: “are you the mother of the house?” Wait, hold the phone, first, how old do you think I was, and two, even if you guessed that I was in my early twenties, you really think that at my age, I could afford a good home like this as well as all this land? Only if I had a farm loving sugar daddy, and…I don’t do that.  I quickly corrected him, saying no, I’m the daughter of the house.  His eyes brightened and he went to ask if my parents were home.  Automatically dropping my age, thinking that I fit into the age level of what his products were geared towards: preschoolers learning to read all the way to teenagers needing prep material for their SATs and ACTs.  I was sixteen when I took those exams, so what is the age range that I was being put into?  I mean, yes, I recall that two years ago, when I went down south and my sister Marci and I realized that depending on the day and how I was dressed, etc, I could pull of the ten range if I were to act or something: five years younger approximately or five years older.  My sister was a theatre major, so things like this have snuck into our conversations.
   
   I quickly dismissed the guy’s guesses, telling him immediately that we had no need for the products, because I am the youngest in this house, and just graduated from college.  Why did he react in shock? I mean, kudos for covering that up fast, and man, you were smooth.  However, I’m not a ditzy girl and was on my game yesterday, being able to tell just from your slight movements alone on how you were working.  Why do I say this?  I say it, because after he recovered from the quick shock that I wasn’t a mother, and not a kid in need of his stock, I was a target for flirtation.  THIS is when he introduced himself, shaking my hand and doing that scan that one does when they’re measuring another in regards of attraction.  I don’t know what he saw, because I mean, I was wearing old jeans that I had cut into shorts, as tank top, and my long red hair coiled into a bun on the very top of my head, and not a spot of makeup.  The kind of outfit a girl doesn’t expect flirtation in, just comfort.  This is when most of our conversation took place.  He kept trying to get a little closer and sweet talk me.  I guess that he was also hoping that since he was giving me a hundred-watt smile and telling me he was in college himself (no, I don’t remember major, school, or his name, I didn’t really care), that I would be able to tell him what other homes on my road had kids that would be of age.  I live on a road that goes on for miles, and don’t know everyone, even though I’ve lived here since I was three.  I also cannot recall who I do know, on whether or not they have kids or what ages the kids are.  Tough break dude, your sweet talking didn’t pass.
   
   So…how old do I look? If we were to follow the ten range rule, without make up and sexy clothes, I guess I could possibly pull off the sixteen and with that whole shebang, possibly twenty-six.  Do I want to be considered either age?  No.  Does flirtation work with me to help you get further with your sales, especially when I’m smart enough to know that you are more into the sale’s progress than me?  Not really.  Did I give him my number in the five minutes we talked before I saw him off I returned to the cooler recesses of my home?  Nope.  Is it nice though that I got hit on and can confuse others with my age while in my comfortable, hot-day, get chores done get-up?  Yep.

~Count your blessings, and whether things are bad or you’re doing well, find something good and hold on!

Much love!

~*~Alyse~*~