Shakespearean Mirror

It's funny how a man that swears to have loved me,

From the teenage years, until before I said I do

            To the right one for me

                        And wasn't you,

Could go hours and get rides for shades of me,

But only once for me did he--

After Helena and Hermia

            Before Ophelia,

The distraught and dark Hamlet who was more or less

A whiney, present day Mecrucio,

Have our backs until it no longer favored you.

            So in goodbye by making it clear

That I was better as a lighthouse for you

Who was only useful anymore as a silent painted portrait--

Rose red with thine petals at my feet,

            The I love you, love you not wishes which

Smolder to sharp thorns in my hands.

I'd rather the flowers I wear upon my crown.

Everything was your terms, and you grew scared when

As I realized other men in my life cared more than just words,

And would drive an hour no matter the weather

            Or pomp and circumstance,

To spend just an evening or afternoon.

No agenda. No intention to woo.

They didn't care I'd given my heart to my correct Romeo,

            Without pushing me to be their Juliet.

You act as if I am the one that did you wrong,

But after nails hammered in coffins and then

            Pried loose once more,

The assessment is more damage done to my heart,

            The one which is more whole

Due to true love's first kiss.

            The phantom of you will always be there,

A ghostly sonnet in caverns of old,

While real friends tend to flower beds by the lapping shore

Or throw pebbles of life to make the water

            Ripple with the growing wisdoms of time--

And my beloved watches over

            As the sun to warm my days

And the moon

            To illuminate

                        My darkest nights.

Autumnal Goodbye

I stare out the window at the blustery autumn leaves,

Thinking of how this time last year

            Was full of turmoil and stress

Where we digressed and our souls took to wanting

Hibernation in our chests.

            We clung to those we still loved, while I also held tight

To the man I now consider my one.

            You could have won you know,

If you knew how to grow up before

            It was

                        Too late.

Like Peter Pan, the man I used to love

            Is still a boy. I grew up though,

And you weren't ready.

            He was. He is.

Now unlike last year, instead of pulling close

            And standing united,

Just as the red leaves,

            You remain in my veins--

But the faith and strength that was our love, our past,

The friendship tied with one love--

            You fall,

Fall down on cold ground and

You resurrect the queen who finally

            Must give up the knave that held

Her soul,

            Swearing  to keep it safe,

But has bruised and used it

            To where you were so close--

The last straw in this barren month

Where the ripest of apples are born

            And pressed and cooked

Into sweetness renewed; you taught

The queen how to be cold as fae may be,

            And he brought the warm

Fire that thawed his way to the side

            By me to be my king, humbling but raw.

You encased our endurance while creating

            Space for him and the ice walls, yourself.

I shall miss you, but I've changed

            And spread my wings that were

Once shattered; to rise as you stand low.

Towering over me, I no longer recognize

            The boy I gave my all, a stranger in my eyes.

I do not cry as I used to though;

Maybe we had to become close again,

            Tighter than we'd ever been,

So you could see what you'd miss and took for granted,

While I learned the difference between

A thimble and a compass.

I'm as naked as the trees become before my eyes,

But safe as the bark that has grown harder

            And beautiful

In its rough glory.

I'll miss the old you, the us in Neverland.

It's just time for me to grow up

            As you continue with the lost boys,

Skipping lightning across the water

            With all the rocks that eventually sink to the bottom;

Our memories, laughter, kisses, and friendship

Haze over our minds.

I'll love you always as I often told you I will and would,

It's just time that while I had faith and trust,

To leave and move on from the piece of my heart

            That only held pixie dust.

Only You

You never stopped to think

That she could be the one.

Well, maybe you did, for a blink

Of a second. A heartbeat.

But you still kept talking to everyone

About your search, what you want.

Instead of staying awhile,

And getting to know every inch of her

Not just every inch of skin that your touches

Cause to vibrate from memories and sighs

But the soul’s mind-heart, that has grown

And altered. Instead of looking

You should be knowing. The woman

Before your eyes, that is always put to the side.

Don’t say the word love lightly.

Don’t say you wish and you want

If it will soon fall empty. Feeding lines

To a jaded heart, will eventually

Make that one numb. You keep hunting

And she’ll shut down. Chances have been given,

Only you can help the us now.

Love Pages Turn

I truly let my heart be open again

            It’s been hard and trying

            But it is.

I took chances.

Some I had to bend the truth for

So that no one could hold me back

            Or tell me no.

My choices, my nine lives.

I chose to be a true butterfly—

With wings that shimmered around,

            Invisible to all except those that saw the real me.

I tried being with others

And let my open heart move on

But I saw the growth.

            I saw the love.

Still there.

            Stronger.

And I’ve held on.

            No matter

How much

           

            I wish I didn’t.

In Bed With the Devil

**Wrote this back in November**

I laid in the Devil’s arms

And he told me that if I wished

I would be the one to initiate the kisses of sin.

So I climbed on top, in my sailor blue striped pajamas,

Kissed him deeply, wrapping my fingers in his dark brown locks.

I took of my top and threw it to the floor as he stripped off his

And unclasped my white cotton bra.  For each nip at his pierced mouth,

I was rewarded with a massage and suck of each breast.

We moved to our sides and he scratched at my back,

Bringing me closer to him with the tingling he sent through my spine.

Are you sure? Yes, I’m sure. I’m ready. I’ve chosen.

The rest of our clothes quickly met the floor with their mates,

And he took me, and pressed his body against mine as he moved slowly.

I held on as the fire burned within me and the Devil took me.