I stare out the window at the blustery autumn leaves,
Thinking of how this time last year
Was full of
turmoil and stress
Where we digressed and our souls took to wanting
Hibernation in our chests.
We clung to
those we still loved, while I also held tight
To the man I now consider my one.
You could
have won you know,
If you knew how to grow up before
It was
Too
late.
Like Peter Pan, the man I used to love
Is still a
boy. I grew up though,
And you weren't ready.
He was. He
is.
Now unlike last year, instead of pulling close
And standing
united,
Just as the red leaves,
You remain
in my veins--
But the faith and strength that was our love, our past,
The friendship tied with one love--
You fall,
Fall down on cold ground and
You resurrect the queen who finally
Must give
up the knave that held
Her soul,
Swearing to keep it safe,
But has bruised and used it
To where
you were so close--
The last straw in this barren month
Where the ripest of apples are born
And pressed
and cooked
Into sweetness renewed; you taught
The queen how to be cold as fae may be,
And he
brought the warm
Fire that thawed his way to the side
By me to be
my king, humbling but raw.
You encased our endurance while creating
Space for
him and the ice walls, yourself.
I shall miss you, but I've changed
And spread
my wings that were
Once shattered; to rise as you stand low.
Towering over me, I no longer recognize
The boy I
gave my all, a stranger in my eyes.
I do not cry as I used to though;
Maybe we had to become close again,
Tighter
than we'd ever been,
So you could see what you'd miss and took for granted,
While I learned the difference between
A thimble and a compass.
I'm as naked as the trees become before my eyes,
But safe as the bark that has grown harder
And
beautiful
In its rough glory.
I'll miss the old you, the us in Neverland.
It's just time for me to grow up
As you
continue with the lost boys,
Skipping lightning across the water
With all
the rocks that eventually sink to the bottom;
Our memories, laughter, kisses, and friendship
Haze over our minds.
I'll love you always as I often told you I will and would,
It's just time that while I had faith and trust,
To leave and move on from the piece of my heart
That only
held pixie dust.
