Lightning

A memory slips in.

My heart skips a beat.

I don’t know what to feel,

What to think.

My body shudders.

The earth turns on its axis.

Another year comes

And is gone.

Look to the night sky

As lightning strikes—

Remembering your soft lips

As we stood on the porch steps.

For months, after you left

I built walls, like yours.

I numbed myself when it came to men;

No one could get in.

Then one summer night,

I stood alone on a balcony,

My head tilted upward as I stared

At the stars up high.

A cool breeze brushed against my arms

As I slipped off my shoes, my feet bare,

I felt as my arms hung limply by my sides,

As the walls deteriorated

And all that was left,

Was the spirit, the essence,

The memory of my heartache—

That of me and you.

My breath was caught in my throat

As far in the distance,

Heat lightning flashed and fireworks exploded.

Imaginary arms wrapped themselves around me,

And in that moment,

Not only did I miss you,

I knew it was time to stop hiding—

Time to move on, move forward.

My heart couldn’t take it,

Someone driven by love and here on earth because of it,

Should not fear it.

Yes, you broke me.

It was like somehow the diamond in the rough,

Was ground to dust—

I was choking on it.

Tears flow freely,

Your name is a sting to my flesh.

The sight of you causes all my senses to crash.

As friends shake me, ask if I’m okay

But I’m just gone from this plane—

It’s a temporary escape.

One day, I shall face.

My prayer is to walk up to you,

I’ll smile—

For I was the angel you needed,

And nothing should be forgotten,

But from the depths of what is me,

I erase my pride.

All is forgiven.

My love for you, I’m sure will continue on,

Though the love for myself has grown.

And as I mark the end to my first twenty years,

I know now that life goes on

And there are chapters after Gursslin.

Peace for me; it does exist.

I can have happiness, and contentment once again,

No matter how fleeting,

It is there.

I hope you are well.

I send kisses on the beams of white light.

You’re welcome to enter my life again,

I’ll welcome you with open arms,

But leave the walls and veil,

At our history’s door.

I do not know what lies in store,

I just want you to know—

I’m doing alright on my own.

Look to the sky, when night falls

Think of me, the warmth of my hand

The friendship that shall always exist.

You are not alone, out there in the world,

I still care, you’ve got someone on your side.

Romantic entanglement—maybe it’s not for us,

Just follow your heart,

Let your spirit whisper—

Don’t tell it to hush like you used to.

True love happens when lightning strikes.

Artist

Artist.

The tortured one.

He lives in ink.

Belongs to none.

Never able to make up his mind.

Broke me,

My soul.

Made me stop believing.

The heart tries to go on,

While he haunts all memory.

Take your needle and your dye

It’s the only world

Where the true you lies.

I'd Go Back

I close my eyes,

And you’ve returned

No longer using life as a disguise.

I’ve missed you during all this time,

And letting you into my mind

Is foolish, but worth it.

Chorus:

You broke my heart

And I’ve worked hard to bury your memory.

Your love, wasn’t worth my love.

But for one moment,

I’ll dream of going back—

Just to be completely happy again.

I’m forgetting what it was like

To be held in your arms

And the smell of your skin.

Do you remember how we

Used to fit like puzzle pieces,

Out limbs locking into place, sticking like glue?

Chorus

I’ll take the hurt and the pain,

If that means I can go back in time,

Relive our reverie.

The old you was not a knight in shining armor,

But the kind of devil that could

Lure me in with just one breath.

Chorus

For one moment,

I’d go back.

Not Gonna

I don’t hear you.

I don’t see you.

And then there you are;

I’m not gonna hide.

Coming in, you want to fix things,

But there’s not much that you can do,

After you smashed my heart like broken glass.

Chorus:

There’s no fixing to what you broke before.

There’s no changing back after all this hurt.

I’m not the one that made you my world.

I can’t let you in, I’m done giving chances.

Some of my friends,

All agree, you’ve downgraded.

What does the other have to offer

When I gave you everything?

People have it in their heads,

That I’m gonna take you back,

But I’m smarter than that.

Chorus

Chorus

Anymore

Don’t turn away,

Don’t walk away

Come here and face me.

Time we laid all the chips and cards down

It’s time we talked,

And it wont be easy.

Bridge:

Sticks and stones may break my bones,

But your words no longer hurt me;

No, you can’t hurt me anymore.

You took my heart,

You made and broke me,

You were my happy place,

Come here and tell me how

I can replace all of what you’ve done

And what you did to crack me.

Bridge

Because I am stronger,

Did you think that I’d let myself

Love you forever and ever?

You’re wrong, I’m not your slave

Honey, you’ve misplayed the game

And now you’re left all alone.

Sticks and stones may break my bones,

But your words no longer hurt me anymore.