No Longer Looking Back

My love for you, is the Milky Way.

A big piece of me, will always remain yours.

When lightning strikes, my heart will ache

With smiles that will never be.

But I'm pushing on, going to unfurl my wings and fly.

I'm going to continue to grow, and be the star, a sun, in the sky

Who's searching for the Universe.

Accepted, wanted, not pushed, truly loved--

And less tears cried.

To find a second home, that I can call mine, forever.

Love Is.

To one who never knew real love

When you say you never felt this strong.

Love is not always getting your way

Love has no room for insecurity,

            Distrust,

            Smothering.

Love to me is not the moonbeams and the magic that they hold.

Love is stormy and the calm before,

            The feeling after.

Love is lightning, striking other clouds

            Branching to the ground,

You feel the rumble.

It isn’t the smell of sunshine, in my eyes

It is more like one that mellows me,

Creates a peace inside that I keep quiet about.

For me, love is where the rest of the world becomes silent

            I don’t need to laugh constantly

            I can lay there, side by side or against one’s chest

And breathe in the way that I no longer feel burdened.

There is much to be learned about love—

And it’s best when it’s a two-way street.

I know what it’s like for the complicated,

I don’t believe that love remaining is easy,

            Trust me, I’ve tried to toss it away.

It comes naturally, and often grows

Like the amount of freckles you often see

On my skin as they multiply.

It remains forever.

Lust is different.  Crushes are different.

Love hurts, love wins.

Love is acceptance of the differences,

Not praying for change

            Instead allowing for personal

            Evolution.

It takes time.

It takes patience.

It takes realizations

            And sincerity

Without apologizing every minute

            For each person being his or herself.

It makes time fly

            While going slow.

It becomes a lifetime

            Swallowed whole in the palm of your hand.

Outweighs everything else

Gets rid of pedestals.

Eventually, the bad and the push and pull

It becomes muted

Because you learn the meaning

You learn the impact

You learn just how much the other means to you

            And what they provide for you—

            It isn’t material

Yet it is literal.

You hold on even though others may never understand.

Love is the constant

            Even though the people advance or diverge.

Me and the one that slips inside

Without him or I giving a blink—

Is sort of like a lighthouse

On the distance shores…

Calling me, marking home.

Sometimes there’s fog and mountains blocking our way

But love always returns home

Because home is where the heart surely is.

Lightning

A memory slips in.

My heart skips a beat.

I don’t know what to feel,

What to think.

My body shudders.

The earth turns on its axis.

Another year comes

And is gone.

Look to the night sky

As lightning strikes—

Remembering your soft lips

As we stood on the porch steps.

For months, after you left

I built walls, like yours.

I numbed myself when it came to men;

No one could get in.

Then one summer night,

I stood alone on a balcony,

My head tilted upward as I stared

At the stars up high.

A cool breeze brushed against my arms

As I slipped off my shoes, my feet bare,

I felt as my arms hung limply by my sides,

As the walls deteriorated

And all that was left,

Was the spirit, the essence,

The memory of my heartache—

That of me and you.

My breath was caught in my throat

As far in the distance,

Heat lightning flashed and fireworks exploded.

Imaginary arms wrapped themselves around me,

And in that moment,

Not only did I miss you,

I knew it was time to stop hiding—

Time to move on, move forward.

My heart couldn’t take it,

Someone driven by love and here on earth because of it,

Should not fear it.

Yes, you broke me.

It was like somehow the diamond in the rough,

Was ground to dust—

I was choking on it.

Tears flow freely,

Your name is a sting to my flesh.

The sight of you causes all my senses to crash.

As friends shake me, ask if I’m okay

But I’m just gone from this plane—

It’s a temporary escape.

One day, I shall face.

My prayer is to walk up to you,

I’ll smile—

For I was the angel you needed,

And nothing should be forgotten,

But from the depths of what is me,

I erase my pride.

All is forgiven.

My love for you, I’m sure will continue on,

Though the love for myself has grown.

And as I mark the end to my first twenty years,

I know now that life goes on

And there are chapters after Gursslin.

Peace for me; it does exist.

I can have happiness, and contentment once again,

No matter how fleeting,

It is there.

I hope you are well.

I send kisses on the beams of white light.

You’re welcome to enter my life again,

I’ll welcome you with open arms,

But leave the walls and veil,

At our history’s door.

I do not know what lies in store,

I just want you to know—

I’m doing alright on my own.

Look to the sky, when night falls

Think of me, the warmth of my hand

The friendship that shall always exist.

You are not alone, out there in the world,

I still care, you’ve got someone on your side.

Romantic entanglement—maybe it’s not for us,

Just follow your heart,

Let your spirit whisper—

Don’t tell it to hush like you used to.

True love happens when lightning strikes.