Bruised Knees

I am on my knees

Not because of glory

Reach out your hand,

Help me up.

I’ve been broken but am determined to rise.

            I may not have been bled with red,

But tears have spilled on my face and smeared across

My love's chest as he's held me shaking

            And each porcelain piece of me

Spider-cracked

            And

He

            Just

Gripped me in his arms tighter to act as the glue

That allows me to go further...

The one you blessed me with even though

Soap opera, midnight drama

            Has multiplied by ten-fold in my life

Since you placed him in my life to finally be recognized

And to un-melt my heart and fill past-pains,

            Assist me in re-finding myself,

Allowing me to love again.

You have given him,

But I've been knocked down so many times,

            And only just gotten up,

A little harder each blending chapter--

That I for once, to the best of my memory,

            Have doubted and questioned You;

My faith. The road ahead.

Roads have been dark,

            But Heaven

I have often wondered if the stars,

            They still move.

Confidence

One summer, I was told

By an admirer, a friend

A lusting desire—

That I was the most confident

Woman, that he’d ever met—

He’d ever known.

I had raised my brow,

Skeptical and surprised,

Each time. Because I didn’t see it,

I couldn’t bring myself to believe

What he said. He couldn’t see past

My mask. I wasn’t as I seemed

Though I was more than I had been.

My confidence was just a glamour

Hiding my insecurities and fears

My thoughts and darker feelings

Mixed with my pride, my back straight,

Chin held high.

Sometimes, to be real I came to realize

Was to fake it until you seemed it

While blending with the truth.