Am I carrying you, my secrets and shadows?
Are you finally starting to exist in a larger matter,
That isn't just at home in my mind, a figment of dreams?
Are you solid, the type of creation that when you're grown,
I can hold you in my hands, rock you in my arms?
Only one can be your other maker, my partner in sin--
The one I always wanted, saw at the end of the fantastical
aisle.
Are you here? Are you real?
I'm scared but you're who I've always wanted.
I wait and tense, sick with fear and ill with anticipation.
But two lines don't appear, blood is negative.
Part of me is relieved, I don't want you to be in this world
just yet.
Part of me is dying once again, because you would've been my
biggest dream come true.
Hope that runs on the thin edge of a mental wall, crumbled
and high.
I fall, I climb.
