Why? Why must guilt sear itself
Through my bones, my blood,
Each time I deign to be touched--
Crave to be wanted, excited, allow lust?
You don't even claim me
Yet you don't give me the chance to move forward.
We breathe different air
And yet, I feel like the one who suffocates.
You made your way
Into my soul. I was wary
But you persisted. And now you want
My patience and heart to persist
And pine. It isn't fair to me.
It isn't fair to my kind.
Traipse back in, when I was finally
Finding a way to ride crashing waves
Instead of falling beneath them--
My hand stretching out to reach through
The white foam of the sea-green water.
I fumble for the sky.
Where's my wings that I've learned to grow?
I was the one reminding others to
Let them show. Let them brew inside the stomach,
And break through the spine.
I feel the weight on my back,
But it's because of you. Of your power over my heart.
Real love usurps power--and not in the way
That I lavish and writhe in. No,
You are aware and yet use me as a toy
In a game I've tired of playing.
I let you tie me up, blind folds that slip just so
And ropes around my limbs, to move as you bid.
But you've taken me for granted.
You want this power. This control.
And try as I might to flutter on by--
You've got my soul.
