Monday, January 20, 2014

Unfair Blatancy in the Psyche

Why? Why must guilt sear itself
Through my bones, my blood,
Each time I deign to be touched--
Crave to be wanted, excited, allow lust?
You don't even claim me
Yet you don't give me the chance to move forward.
We breathe different air
And yet, I feel like the one who suffocates.

You made your way
Into my soul. I was wary
But you persisted. And now you want
My patience and heart to persist
And pine. It isn't fair to me.
It isn't fair to my kind.

Traipse back in, when I was finally
Finding a way to ride crashing waves
Instead of falling beneath them--
My hand stretching out to reach through
The white foam of the sea-green water.
I fumble for the sky.

Where's my wings that I've learned to grow?
I was the one reminding others to
Let them show. Let them brew inside the stomach,
And break through the spine.
I feel the weight on my back,
But it's because of you. Of your power over my heart.
Real love usurps power--and not in the way
That I lavish and writhe in. No,
You are aware and yet use me as a toy
In a game I've tired of playing.

I let you tie me up, blind folds that slip just so
And ropes around my limbs, to move as you bid.
But you've taken me for granted.
You want this power. This control.
And try as I might to flutter on by--

You've got my soul.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Only You



You never stopped to think
That she could be the one.

Well, maybe you did, for a blink
Of a second. A heartbeat.

But you still kept talking to everyone
About your search, what you want.

Instead of staying awhile,
And getting to know every inch of her

Not just every inch of skin that your touches
Cause to vibrate from memories and sighs

But the soul’s mind-heart, that has grown
And altered. Instead of looking

You should be knowing. The woman
Before your eyes, that is always put to the side.

Don’t say the word love lightly.
Don’t say you wish and you want

If it will soon fall empty. Feeding lines
To a jaded heart, will eventually

Make that one numb. You keep hunting
And she’ll shut down. Chances have been given,

Only you can help the us now.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Out



When I was a child, I adored the countryside—
The peaceful fields the whistling in the trees,
The wide expanse of green and gold,
The stars shining stark bright in the vast dark sky.

Now?

            I hate it.

It’s the cage I’ve always feared, that makes my heart squeeze
The lungs suffocate, draining part of my living brain.

I’m done screaming and not being heard.
Even if I’m not comfortable, even if it isn’t perfect,
Even if I’m apprehensive, or even scared—


I’m going to use the truth,
            Actions
Louder than words
            Are going to speak.
My silence, my absence
Will be heard.

            And the cage

I’ll force it to disappear.