The Saturday Six Thirteen

1. Saturday, my sister and I took my mama out to the Olive Garden for the first time, as an early birthday present.  Yummy breadsticks is worth it. As was the smile and surprise on her face.

2. Sunday, as most of you know, was the VMAs, and I admit, I haven’t watched really any award shows in the last few years let alone anywhere near the way I did when I was younger.  I watched though, and I admit to major fangirling moment. I mean, I was born in 1991, so…I’ve listened to Justin Timberlake as one of my number one pop artists most of my life, and he was my favorite one out of the ‘Nsync guys.  Honestly, my sister has a photo somewhere in her albums of me in elementary, wearing an oversized Veteran’s Club t-shirt as a nightgown kissing and posing with her Justin poster.  ‘Nsync is by far the best pop boy band (seriously, One Direction, you’re a no-go and I want the Union Jack flag returned to the Spice Girls). Yes, I was among the twenty-something year olds that I know who was clapping like a fool with a huge ass grin spread across my face the moment I saw all the boys together.  And yes, I immediately sang along with them just like I did when we were kids, and when I used to watch my sister’s VHS of one of their concerts for “No Strings Attached”.
   
   I mean, a lot of the show was good, and heck, I got teary-eyed when Macklemore did “Same Love.” It matters, not just because the song is powerful, but because I know a good handful of beautiful souls who have been in my life at some point or another that deserve things just like that.
   
   Show was great, okay, I admit it. However, to me, Justin Timberlake eclipsed everything else with that spectacular performance, and the appearance of the whole ‘Nsync band reunited.  Miley, I like your music.  Lady Gaga, I like yours as well.  Taylor Swift…I paused my television when you hugged your co-star from the video you won your award for, just so I could stare at his sexy self for a second.  Will Smith, I caught you bobbing your head. And Katy, I heard you roar.  However y’all, the part that will stay in my memory best or at least the longest, as the days pass by is what I just spent three paragraphs, going on four, discussing.
   
   ‘Nsync…for a brief moment, I was thrown back to the times when my age was in the one-digits, I was more carefree, and I was much more pure of mind.  You brought the good parts of growing up, and a flash of the young me.  I will probably remain an ‘Nsync fan, and a Justin Timberlake fan, until I’m no longer able to hear music.
   
   
3. I finished reading The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern late one night. I had wanted to read it badly when I used to shelve it all the time at my old job, and it did not disappoint. Funny though, some segments reminded me of pieces of Libba Bray’s Gemma Doyle trilogy.  I love the style of writing that both authors have, and see a similarity in the way in which I like to write. The visuals in my head came so easily, and aside from the time jumping and POV jumping that took me a while to get used to, I felt like I was right there, as another member in the charade.
   
   Excerpt to catch your fancies:
              
   “Stories have changed, my dear boy,” the man in the grey suit says, his voice almost imperceptibly sad. “There as no more battles between good and evil, no monsters to slay, no maidens in need of rescue. Most maidens are perfectly capable of rescuing themselves in my experience, at least the ones worth something, in any case.  There are no longer simple tales with quests and beasts and happy endings.  The quests lack clarity of goal or path. The beasts take different forms and are difficult to recognize for what they are. And there are never really endings, happy or otherwise. Things keep going on, they overlap and blur, your story is part of your sister’s story is part of many other stories, and are a great deal most complex than a princess and a dragon, or a wolf and a scarlet-clad little girl. And is not the dragon the hero of his own story? Is not the wolf simply acting as a wolf should act? Though perhaps it is a singular wolf who goes to much lengths as to dress as a grandmother to toy with its prey.” (Page 499)
              
   “The truest tales require time and familiarity to become what they are.” (Page 500)
              
   “Someone needs to tell those tales. When the battles are fought and won and lost, when the pirates find their treasures and the dragons eat their foes for breakfast with a nice cup of Lapsang souchong, someone needs to tell their bits of overlapping narrative. There’s magic in that. It’s in the listener, and for each and every ear it will be different, and it will affect them in ways they can never predict. From the mundane to the profound. You may tell a tale that takes up residence in someone’s soul, becomes their blood and self and purpose. That tale will move them and drive them and who knows what they might do because of it, because of your words. That is your role, your gift. Your sister may be able to see the future, but you yourself can shape it….” (Page 505)
   
   
4. This week was mom’s 49^th birthday.  I’d bought her birthday present a couple of weeks ago, before we took her to Olive Garden.  She really liked her gift, but got on me for spending money I don’t have much of on her since we’d taken her to supper. However, she understood the dinner was an impromptu thing, and she likes the shirt. I win. I also made her a cheesecake since I didn’t think we needed a 9x13 cake, especially considering that after I made the dessert, I found out that her coworker had made her cupcakes.  Her candles? Yeah, I put those in the shape of a heart, and she had my nephew blow out the candles with her.
   
   
5. Over the weekend, I brainstormed things from the past few years about myself and took my old (admittedly, bad) résumé and put it all together, because a friend of mine has offered to help me to a good one, that I can not be not quite so nervous about giving to potential employers.  However, my mom and I got to talking and brainstorming ways for me to get an actual job again due to me lack of transportation.  The only problem with it, is that the jobs I look for at the moment, have to be in the ten mile radius of home, so that it’s not out of my family’s way to get me there. I found two jobs that I don’t think will make me go nuts, and that I think would be very beneficial not just to my bank account and bills, but also to my growth.  Filling out the applications though, I had to have a résumé, so I spent a whole night trying to make one that wasn’t an online plug and chug.  I’m nervous now, especially since jobs in town are always a fight usually, due to them being hard to get.
   
   
   
6. Okay, let’s talk about the writing world. The one that I love being succumbed to…most importantly, the people within my writing bubble.
   
   I tried out my video calling on Google+ yesterday, so I can talk more with my writer friends, etc. The first one I got to talk to is my lovely friend, author of Vaalbara: Visions & Shadows, Vaalbara: The Land of Shadows, and a 7DS writer. It was nice to first figure out how to use my video caller, but also to finally get to meet her virtually face to face. It’s somewhat surreal to think that I can talk to my friends via video, especially when Michelle for instance hails from South Africa. Among our short conversation, she asked me about what I plan to do for jobs now, and I told her what I would like but I also mentioned what I’m just looking for right now.  She suggested that perhaps through marketing myself, I can perhaps get small presses to look to me for editing positions that I can do online, on the side with my writing.  I’ve looked for online freelancing via job sites and have come up short, but this is a good idea. I mean, I help my friends here in WNYS sometimes, so why not? I mean, it would make me really happy and be something that I love to do. Yes, I know I can’t rely on it to support me financially, but it would be good to do. She had a point that if you’ve got editing skills, they shouldn’t be put to waste.
   
   This month I had beta-read for my friend Jess Russell, and after I gave it back to her, she said she wanted to submit it, but wasn’t sure if she was good enough. I told her she is though, and encouraged her to send it to some of our other writer friends if she still wasn’t sure. Guess what?  Things are looking up for her, and I’m proud of her, always.
   
   
   

~Count your blessings, and whether things are bad or you’re doing well, find something good and hold on!

Much love!

~*~Alyse~*~

Dissonance

Sometimes I wonder

If perhaps my heart

Would have a better chance

In another world,

Or over across the ocean.

So many days,

I feel that pull

But I’m never sure if the place

That holds my love

Feels the draw that

Begs to be allowed to consume

The soul.

Maybe if I were to put distance—

A great divide,

The heart would stand a chance

For love without looking back.

Sure, communication

And memories, they wouldn’t have to cease

But like the beats of drum

The thrum would have more dissonance

Due to the branching of space,

Separating.

It’d alter the sounds,

Perhaps some silence.

Is there a chance?

Will the heart get such of one?

I don’t foresee it.

I’ll always end up losing,

He’ll always be the soul that won.

The Saturday Six Twelve

1. I’ve been spending a lot more time with my friend Chrissy lately.  She is starting back to school after a long period away from it, this coming week, and Monday I went to Batavia with her because she wanted someone to 1) verify that she actually went to fill out the paperwork and schedule classes, 2) keep her from running.  It was quite odd to be back at a college, looking at school courses being scheduled and to see what is mostly, lost seventeen to nineteen year olds running around like puppies in search of bones. Another weird feeling for me being there, was not only is it a college, it was a community college.  I went to a larger scale college, so it felt more like I was walking through the halls of a large high school.  There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just that it was a smaller campus than from where I spent four years.  I’m so proud of her though, getting back on the track she wants to be.
   
   
2. I got a small planner to put in my purse, so now I have a calendar that isn’t dependent on my phone, and allows me much better memory.  Honestly.  Since I’m lacking in a regular schedule and I generally function better writing things down.
   
   
3. Had to get a shot this week, and finally met a person handling the needle who agreed that there is a difference between liking tattoos (wanting more) and being scared as Hell of needles. I kept saying I wanted to get a tattoo done at the moment than be stuck with the two inches worth of steel that was shoved into my arm.  Shots help with the health, but are pain in the asses no one sees after they’re finished.  Tattoos create beauty as well as can represent a person after they’re finished; they are art and puzzle pieces, they last. I prefer the latter.
   
   
4. I framed some artwork this week finally, that someone really close to my heart had given me four years ago. There’s three drawings, and only two of them have left to go on my wall. That interesting endeavor is something I plan to do today while I have an empty house.
   
   
5. I heard about some job listings available for positions I never contemplated but that would be amazing, and that I qualify for; unfortunately, I can’t apply due to the jobs being in NYC and that’s on the other side of the state. Alas, if I had the funds, I’d try to go out that way and apply anyhow.   The good part about this though, is that it gave me ideas of jobs that I can look for, and for things about myself to put on my resumé that I had never thought of before.  It’s a defeat, but also a small gain. 
   
   
6. Finally, last night I went out with a few friends to a small bonfire.  Yesterday was probably the most I’ve laughed in a couple months, as well as was the best day I’ve had all month.  I thank my friends for that.  And we found out that Pizza Pringles and BBQ Pringles taste amazing together…but, don’t take my word for it, try the combo together!
   

One thing about today: my oldest nephew has his first football game today, GO BRYAN! <3

Oh, and to my fellow friends that are still in college, returning to college, or starting school to acquire their Masters or Law Degrees,  I know this coming week starts the next leg of it all for you, and I just want to say: Good Luck! Don't have too much fun, but then again, don't work way too much ;)

~Count your blessings, and whether things are bad or you’re doing well, find something good and hold on!

Much love!

~*~Alyse~*~

The Saturday Six (Eleven)

1. Sunday, even though I had zero energy, I went to Geneseo to see We’re The Millers, even though it meant me sitting there by myself.  My dad went and saw 2 Guns.  Why didn’t he watch my movie? Because I told him he would not want to watch it with me…he’d probably like it, possibly, but after seeing Savages when that was in theaters, I’d like to avoid anything regarding my like in movies that happen to have sex and marijuana. Especially, when both movies involve the selling of it.  I’ve no problem with the way people choose to live their lives really, as long as it doesn’t harm another person, and they’re movies. However, my dad watching this with his youngest daughter is a very bad idea, and I didn’t want him to damper the movie I’d wanted to see.
   
   And how I enjoyed said movie!
   
   I have got to say, it was probably one of the funniest movies I’ve seen released in months, and my mute-self was wanting to laugh so hard, I even had a coughing spasm trying to.  I sat there in the theater, by myself, Goobers and popcorn with extra butter and salt in my lap, with an incredibly large grin upon my face.  Who would have thought that seeing Jennifer Aniston as a stripper would be the highlight to my day, let alone, the highlight in my life in days.  Thank you Millers.
   
   
2. Tuesday was the two week marker of being a mute.  So…needless to say, I was overjoyed when Monday night, my sister sent over a dry erase board from the Dollar Tree in my nephew’s diaper bag. I’m extremely grateful for this gesture, because I was tired of hunting around to make sure I had scrap paper on me or typing in large font on my computer to communicate with people. I learned a long time ago, when I had laryngitis in high school (three times!) that these little boards are a god send.
   
   
3. Even as a mute, I was tired of seeing only family members and being a hermit.  I was losing all sanity. I wanted to scratch the crap out of a certain individual.  I took a chance of completely draining myself again, possibly getting nauseated and risk passing out (did that last week, bad, very bad), and allowed my friend Chrissy to kidnap me and take me on errands with her.
   
   Unlike everyone else, she has no problem seeming like she is talking to herself.  She is quite a talker, and great at picking up subtle cues of communication.  I was also able to use a little bit of signing that I do remember from my childhood mixed in with using my handy dandy board, and heavens thank you for her friendship! My throat was feeling a tad better, and I was able to laugh—well, kind of.
   
   And apparently, I was quite amusing, even in my mute state, and not just to Chrissy.  Our waitress at Applebees got to read my order off my board, and another waiter thought that we were doing a trivia game until he found out I had no voice. They loved that I had a board. Weird, but good.
   
   I thank the stars every day for the friends I have in my life.  Friends are the biggest reason I survive, they are part of the why and part of the how.
   
   
4. I got my hair trimmed this week, finally!
   
   It took almost a year, which makes me extremely paranoid to go so long without one.  However, I found a person I could afford and that I could trust.  Having both things work together is hard, and I trust very few near my hair, even fewer with something that could harm it, such as scissors. Woo-hoo!
   
   
5. This month, I’ve done some BETA reading and editing for a friend.  I finished with what she has towards her larger manuscript that is a WIP.  I loved a lot of it, and for some reason, my writing friends who’ve had me look over scenes, etc for them this summer, have a way of playing with my emotions through their work.  Thumbs up, ladies. I consider that a good thing. And I loved her takes on some of the creatures involved, as well as how she tackled different aspects about life.  The more important things, such as the connections between people.  I think she truly has potential in what she’s creating.
   
   
6. My sister, even in her frustrated state last night, got me a plate of fried dough and my favorite taffy (wintergreen) from our county fair. I practically inhaled the dough, I’d been craving all week. There’s something about fair food and summer, I swear.

~Count your blessings, and whether things are bad or you’re doing well, find something good and hold on!

Much love!

~*~Alyse~*~

A Touch and Your Lips

I’m not the one you miss.

I’m not the one you’re aching for;

You’re just lookin’ for a simple kind of bliss—

The one that’s blessed with a kiss.

So come here,

You can stay the night.

We’ll stay up watching movies—

Staring into each other’s eyes.

Chorus:

But my heart—

That’s a different story.

It’s a bit harder to get,

Than just a touch and your lips.

Two friends can make love,

But just because your makin’ it,

Doesn’t mean that you’re in it—

Best believe it.

So come here,

You can stay the night.

We’ll stay up laughing—

Making each other feel alright.

Chorus

It’s a different story;

We’re just two friends,

But I’m not sure if you’re in it—

I can’t believe it.

My heart’s pounding

I’m wishing I was the one you were wanting

Day and night,

I just want you to stay…

My heart—

That’s a different story than

What you’re used to.

I want more than a touch and your lips.

I just want you.

Some Things Are Hard To Say

People in a small town

They like to laugh,

About good hearted things,

Stupid things,

And things that crack people’s hearts.

Not all things should be used

As a joke

            As a pun.

Some talk about what has happened to them.

Some have worked to see justice done.

Others remain silent, to avoid the

            Spotlight.

Communities, especially those in a small town,

Or close-knit social groups,

They tend to have a knack

For pointing the beam

            The finger

Ready to hurt people more

Whether or not they mean to,

Because words find blame.

            Words are blame.

Whether or not

A person has chosen

To speak, it does not mean

That there’s not something wrong;

            That there’s not a pain

Fighting and drowning.

Perhaps they’re scared.

Perhaps they don’t feel safe.

Perhaps they’re still working up the strength.

Perhaps they don’t want

            To be made as a victim.

Perhaps they’re just trying to hold on

            Maintain who they are

Allow you to keep the façade.

But even as a community of two

            Or two million—

It is the duty of others to respect.

What happened to true respect?

People need to feel like they won’t be judged,

Like there is a haven,

Otherwise, they may just be struggling

            Locked in the inside,

Waiting with time.

The Saturday Six (Ten)

This week, it’s been hard for me to focus on any positives, due to an infection in regards to one of my wisdom teeth that I’ve been dealing with, so I’ve been hermit-ing it up.

1. For the moments that I’ve had somewhat of a voice, or been able to rest it, I’ve been grateful.  Been wondering what I should do if I should lose it completely, due to the fact that I no longer have my handy-dandy wipe board from my college days because it’s packed away in the upstairs of our barn.  Those things were handy when I’d lose my voice in high school, but…when you have a three-year-old nephew running around expecting you to talk, what are you supposed to do?
   
   I did get to the dentist, which means I’m on meds now and already a few days later am starting to get better.  I’m pretty sure, if able, at some point, I want these suckers out.
   
   
2. Monday, my parents were barely home, which was nice as I was able to have space, but that time was spent on the phone for three hours with loan people: the good news though, is that I figured out how to pay off some of my loans during grace before they accrued more interest. Any stressors I can get rid of, I will when I have the capability to do so.
   
   I managed to send in pay offs luckily, and have significantly decreased my funds, but even if it drains me a good percentage now, it will save me a lot more money in the end.
   
   So…, if you know a bit about me, you know that I don’t always see eye-to-eye with my father, and we often drive each other to our wits end.  That said, I still love him, and I know he still loves me, and small things, such as him coming home all the way from Avon just to bring me a homemade root beer from Tom Wahl’s is such a fact.  The first bad day to what turned into an awful week, and he does that.  It made me smile in my miserable state. Note: even if I’m sick of soda and want to step away from it, I’ll take homemade root beer any time.
   
   
3. I’ve finished reading Anastasia’s Secret by Susanne Dunlap finally. I liked the book, but it was a slow read, and heavens help me does slow reading sometimesannoy me.  I’ve become slower at reading during my college days, perhaps because I used to have to read so much a week for all my classes, that now my mind says to slow down.  I miss the days that I could breeze through an eight-hundred page novel in a day, ignoring everything else in the world and being able to recall everything months later!  Those were the days of glory, haha.  I did recently start reading Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl this week though.  I had thought the movie looked interesting, but have been told that it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be (doesn’t mean that I won’t give it a chance), but due to multiple friends’ personal libraries, I plan to read the books.  So far, I am digging the first one.
   
   I’m also still reading Frozen Past on my Kindle app by Richard C. Hale.  It’s good, but having a book on a computer is not the same as having a book in my own two hands.  Honestly, I’m starting to warm up to the idea of those little gadgets and becoming friends with the idea of owning one, so that I don’t have the backlighting that my laptop does.  And because I can curl up in a comfy seat or go for a ride to read one of the books that I’ve downloaded to read or research from, instead of sitting here, Indian style, with a lap desk to read, and eventually go cross-eyed. Honestly, it seams I can stare at a screen longer if I am writing or watching something, compared to staring at words.  I love to read, but unlike many things, I still am a traditionalist in reading.  The fact that friends and this are making the idea of owning a Kindle of my own more reasonable than two years ago, is something.  I’m slowly cozying up to this, yes, step back in shock.
   
   I realize I ramble whenever it comes to reading and things such as that, but let’s hope I don’t get caught in the spiral of how much things cost. My mind does that often since I had neared the end of college. So…if you ever think of getting me a gift, books are a good idea, or perhaps a cheap, working Kindle (that, may I mention, has a light, because I tried reading in bed with a flashlight which I haven’t done since high school days, and it’s a pain in the ass).  Music and movies are always pretty, too. As is weapons.  Then I have things to keep me occupied when I eventually have my own place and am not at whatever place I work.  The weapons wouldn’t keep me occupied, but I love shiny beautiful things such as those.  They’re inspiring, and here I am rambling again.  This is what happens due to me having very little talking ability all week, and being under the weather, sorry all!
    
4. Saturday of last week, I went to my friend Britt’s parents’ house, where she had a graduation from college/moving party.  She’s moving to South Carolina, and even though we haven’t been super tight the past few years due to school and jobs and living in different cities, I’m still going to miss her. She has always been a great person, ever since I met her when we were in the sixth grade.  I wish her safe travels and good luck with her future.  I’m half tempted to put her in touch with some of my family and friends that I have down south, or at least go online to the southern cookbook I have so she can know some good fixings.  I still suggest, due to the stories from my sister, that since she won’t be too far from Atlanta, Georgia, that she should visit Coca-Cola world at some point.
   
   I also caught up with Britt’s parents, her sisters, and our friends Laura and Bethany.  I haven’t seen or talked to Bethany since my graduation party four years ago, at least as far as I can remember, and she has recently gotten married.  Marriage seems to suit her so far, and I’m happy for her.  When I sat down to talk to her, she said that she saw that I was coming and was hoping to catch me—have I been missed? Well, I guess that’s what happens when you’ve known each other since you were five or six.
   
   
5. Sunday, I had gone to the movies with my dad, to see Man of Steal for my second time (dad’s first).  Most Superman movies suck the second time around in my opinion, but this one was still good the second time. And it may be the small town simple girl in me, but I honestly preferred, at least in way of sound, the normal theatre over IMAX.  I’m odd, I know, oh well…embrace it.
   
   By the way…Henry Cavil…you only seem to get sexier with age.  Yes, I said that.
   
   
6. Oh, snap! I forgot, cherry of the week, if the week were a god-awful screwed up sundae, you know, the kind were people put crushed pineapple on it or something, was: MY COLLEGE DIPLOMA CAME IN THE MAIL.  Guess it’s official, concrete, this surreal-ness and transition of my life is true…no more school, and I have a degree.  Okay, what’s next?  Come on life, give me something good, or at least something to work with. Haha.
   
   

I pose this question, that is mainly due to extreme curiosity (I’m a very curious being, luckily, I seem to have more than one life), and also due to writing.  I was invited to three weddings this year summer (only one that I wasn’t able to attend), and multiple friends have talked about futures, which include this topic in it.  And, Bethany as an example, many people I’ve known are getting married.  I am currently writing the engagement scene for one of my pieces, so for months and now this summer, what is on my mind?  Engagements and weddings.  No, I don’t plan to get hitched any time soon, one, I have no guy, and two, I’m not ready to settle down.  I’m just curious, if you’ve ever gotten engaged and/or married: how did the engagement happen?  Where did you get married?  Anything funny happen, or sentimental?  The writer in me wants to pick your brains!

~Count your blessings, and whether things are bad or you’re doing well, find something good and hold on!

Much love!

~*~Alyse~*~

P.S. Folks- Please pray that I get my voice back, I am now completely mute. I guess hoping I wasn’t going to get laryngitis didn’t do anything.  I’m going a bit crazy here. <3